"You didn't lose a baby, you lost a meal ticket."
"Compassionate, sweet" Elizabitch, who
said this to a woman who just went through
a life threatening miscarriage.

The 221 Anti-Lizzy Keeperships
and other assorted Anti-Lizzy Goodies!

"Next, on General Hospital......."

1. Keeper of the day Audrey closes her checkbook and cuts Frizzy Lizzy off.
~~anita

2. Keeper of the trowel Frizzy Lizzy uses to spackle on her make-up each
day. ~~anita

3. Keeper of the day Jason buys Frizzy her very first Big Wheel so she can
take herself on rides to "feel the wind." ~~anita

4. Keeper of her eviction notice when she gets bounced out on her ass.
~~Aradia

5. Keeper of the day Nik tells her to bugger off, he found himself some
REAL friends. ~~Aradia

6. Keeper of the day Plucky comes back and marries Sarah Webber! ~~Aradia

7. Keeper of the day Frizz discovers pomade. ~~Nickie

8. Keeper of the day she tries out for the role of Jane in "Whatever
Happened to Baby Jane?" ~~TerriL

9. Keeper of the Rattle to go with all that whining. ~~TerriL

10. Keeper of the day Faison kidnaps HER and puts us out of our misery.
~~TerriL

11. Keeper of her Paint by the Numbers kits so no other Art Department has
to look at another "original" by Miss Teen USA. ~~Mina

12. Keeper of her OTHER painting supplies (fingers, toes, finger paints,
paper, brushes, ect.) so no one else has to look at one, either. ~~Mina

13. Keeper of the VO5 Hot Oil Treatment her hair desperately needs. ~~Mina

14. Keeper of the day Liz paints the wind...in Afghanistan. ~~Parul7

15. Keeper of the day Lucky returns and asks "Who the hell are you?" ~~TerriL

16. Keeper of the day Lucky comes home and tells Liz, "YOU KILLED ME!" ~~Mina

17. Keeper of the day Lucky's recast shows up and says "Jonathan (and then
Tyler, and now Steve) left the show because of you!" ~~anita

18. Keeper of Liz using the word "MY" as in MY life, MY decisions...it is
the ONLY dialog the kid has! ~~Anne-SSS

19. Keeper of the day Liz's hairspray overwhelms her, causing her to (of
course) fall out the window. ~~Kymmi

20. Keeper of the day Dizzy Lizzy gets her eyebrows plucked. ~~ambu2

21. Keeper of the day Dizzy Lizzy stops saying "THIS IS MY LIFE." ~~ambu2

22. Keeper of the day Dizzy Lizzy says, "I need Grams." ~~ambu2

23. Keeper of smashing the porcelain doll. ~~ Alison

24. Keeper of the day Jeff Webber tells Elizabeth, "Yes, we've always liked
Sarah better." ~~acie

25. Keeper of the day Audrey calls Bosnia and tells them she is sending
Elizabeth home to her parents. ~~acie

26. Keeper of the day Liz falls off Jason's motorcycle and goes "clunk."
~~acie

27. Keeper of the day Nikolas tells Elizabeth to get lost and find another
man to cling to. ~~acie

28. Keeper of the day Emily calls Elizabeth a spoiled brat. ~~acie

29. Keeper of the day Plucky comes home and finds out his girlfriend is a
HO. ~~tracie

30. Keeper of the bomb that almost got Frizzy Lizzy. ~~tracie

31. Keeper of the day Frizzy finds out Jason is in love with Carly not her!
~~tracie

32. Keeper of the hole in the ozone layer caused by Frizzy's Aqua Net.
~~queenofdarkness

33. Keeper of the day she learns the correct pronuciation of "dint."
~~queenofdarkness

34. Keeper of the day she pulls that ugly mask off and reveals herself to
be...THE SLOB. ~~queenofdarkness

35. Keeper of her love for Tom. ~~queenofdarkness

36. Keeper of the day she does something with those eyebrows. ~~rachel

37. Keeper of the day she actually uses a voice rather than a whine. ~~rachel

38. Keeper of the day she actually turns 18. ~~rachel

39. Keeper of the day she actually stays for her full shift at Kelly's.
~~rachel

40. Keeper of the day Audrey sends her ass packin'. ~~rachel

41. Keeper of the moment she realizes that her art talent is all a figment
of her imagination. ~~rachel

42. Keeper of the day people stop kissing her little butt. ~~rachel

43. Keeper of every excuse she has given Bobbie in order to have the day
off. ~~rachel

44. Keeper of the Day Lucky returns and goes out with Emily. ~~NancyW

45. Keeper of the day Nik smartens up and blows her off. ~~NancyW

46. Keeper of the day Audrey slaps her. ~~Catt23

47. Keeper of the day Lucky spits in her face. ~~ Catt23

48. Keeper of the day Lizzie removes her appendage from a man. ~~Catt23

49. Keeper of the day she inhales too many paint fumes. ~~anita

50. Keeper of the day Nik realizes that Sheba is a better friend. ~~SIPort

51. Keeper of the day Audrey decides not to put anymore money in her
account. ~~SIPort

52. Keeper of the day Plucky realizes that he can do SO MUCH BETTER. ~~SIPort

53. Keeper of the Double Standard and the Wind That Will Blow Her Over
Someday. ~~Carin

54. Keeper of the Subway token necklace that she doesn't deserve to have, now. ~~NancyW

55. Keeper of the day Hannah puts the FBI smackdown on Liz. ~~Lily White

56. Keeper of the candles Slizz used to murder Lucky. ~~queenofdarkness

57. Keeper of the day the light reflecting off her lip gloss blinds an
oncoming motorist and she is turned into a Frizzy Lizzy pancake. ~~Nickie

58. Keeper of the day she paints a gun to shoot herself with. ~~Nickie

59. Keeper of the day Lucky ever so gently punts her off the dock while
she's painting. ~~Nickie

60. Keeper of the hair brush she hasn't used in months. ~~Nickie
 

61. Keeper of the cheese to go with that whine. ~~Nickie

62. Keeper of the day she turns 19, so that we don't have to hear about 18
anymore. ~~Wendy

63. Keeper of the days she and the annoying Chloe have scenes together so
my finger has to FF only once, not twice. ~~Wendy

64. Keeper of the Day Audrey buys Liz a one way ticket to Bosnia. ~~acie

65. Keeper of the day Dr. Jeff Webber says, "There's a reason we always
liked Sarah better." ~~acie

66. Keeper of the day NuLucky doesn't remember Elizabeth.  ~~acie

67. Keeper of the day Dizzy Lizzy goes crawling back to NuNik after His
Borgness kicks her @ss to the curb. ~~Tricky

68. Keeper of the day Dizz gets wind burn. ~~Tricky

69. Keeper of the Dizz's one way airline ticket to Bosnia. ~~Tricky

70. Keeper of the day Sorel and his man put a paint bomb on her. ~~Catt23

71. Keeper of the day when anyone of Liz's so-called friends asks, "well,
what about you." ~~Catt23

72. Keeper of the day NuNik says "Lizzie who?" and does the wild thing with
Emily. ~~Catt23

73. Keeper of the Cross, to which she's nailed. ~~Mina

74. Keeper of her super industrial stregnth lip gloss. ~~Mina

75. Keeper of her self-pity, that she masquerades as strength. ~~Mina

76. Keeper of the dumptruck that has to deliver Lizzy's make-up each week.
~~Aradia

77. Keeper of the day Elizab*tch learn how to speak proper English like an
adult. ~~Coggie

78. Keeper of the FBI badge that Hann-ugh (she can't do a damned thing right!)
should have slapped across Lizzy's face that day in Kelly's. ~~anita

79. Keeper of the empty space between Dizzy Lizzy's ears where the wind
resides. ~~anita

80. Keeper of "Wing Between Their Ears," the JIZ Love Theme. ~~Molly Malone

81. Keeper of the missing birthdays that TPTB skipped so that Lizzy
wouldn't be jailbait for Jason. ~~anita

82. Keeper of the moment Licky finally see each other and Lucky asks, "Liz
who?" ~~dbabu

83. Keeper of the candles Faison will send to Liz every Christmas. ~~dbabu

84. Keeper of the day Emily finally smacks Liz when Liz says, "It hurts to
breeeeeeethe." ~~dbabu

85. Keeper of the MAD TV episode where Liz appears on "Lowered
Expectations." ~~dbabu

86. Keeper of Liz' non-existant freshman homework. ~~aquart

87. Keeper of the moment Liz trips and falls onto her pallette, permanantly
ruining the white turtleneck. ~~aquart

88. Keeper of the suicide pact she made with Lucky on Valentine's Day, 1998.
Too bad she didn't keep her end of the agreement. ~~Mina

89. Keeper of Frizzy's very own "click-BOOM" episode. ~~Mina

90. Keeper of the brotherly, child-like peck on the forehead that Jason
gave her to say good-bye, which is what a child her age SHOULD have gotten
from a grown man. ~~anita

91. Keeper of the soot black tears that will fall when Lizzard weeps.
~~DeepThoughts

92. Keeper of the day Pluck comes back and disses her. ~~MB (Bauer)

93. Keeper of the day she learns that the letters "ING" are not pronounced
"EEEEEN," as in "I was thinkeen that I love rideen on Jase's bike so I can
feel the wind bloween through my frizzy hair." ~~Caren

94. Keeper of the day Robin comes back and b*tchslaps Sliz for stealing her
character. ~~Aradia

95. Keeper of Liz' "nice girl" fantasies of being taken by dangerous men.
~~Fleur

96. Keeper of the day Sonny throws her brownies in her face and tells her
he's tired of hanging out with the stray teens of Port Charles.~~KBetty30

97. Keeper of the orgasm Tom gave Sliz ~~Lilywhite

98. Keeper of Lizzy choking on those damned brownies. ~~rshetty

99. Keeper of the day that the Frizzy Furball is going to electrocute
herself with the Easy Bake oven. ~~rshetty

100. Keeper of the Easy Bake Oven in her Stupido. ~~AnneSSS

101. Keeper of the term "stupido" to describe where Lizzy lives. ~~AnneSSS

102. Keeper of her No Bed, No Kitchen, No Phone, No Toilet, No Shower, No
Closet, No Refridgerator, STUPIDO. ~~AnneSSS

103. Keeper of Mac's old "How to Teach Your Teenager About the Dangers of
the Mob" scripts that he needs to give to Audrey. ~~AnneSSS

104. Keeper of the day she discovers that her father used to be married to
Emily's mother and nobody ever bothered to tell either of them. ~~Kara

105. Keeper of Liz and Emily's twisted version of The Parent Trap, where
they're really step/adopted sisters separated by divorce. ~~Kara

106. Keeper of the day Lizzy's brownies choke NuNik and Plucky and they
tell her it sucks. ~~CAT

107. Keeper of the day Liz electrocutes herself with her curling iron.
~~RStortz

108. Keeper of the day Dizzy Lizzy asks Sonny for a ride in his limo to
"feel the air conditioning."  ~~anita

109. Keeper of the day she "paints the air conditioning" in Sonny's limo. ~~ Kara

110.  Keeper of the day Lizzy stops "ooohing" and "ahhhhing" over the local mobsters
and stops crediting them with morals and integrity they don't possess.  ~~ Ciera

111. Keeper of the day Mac and Taggert arrest Dizzy Lizzy for "putting
something funny in her brownies."  ~~anita

112. Keeper of the day she figures out that her logic about
Jason-the-Mobster is as twisted as a New York style pretzel. ~~anita

113. Keeper of the day Liz remembers that she USED to have a backbone. ~~marie

114.  Keeper of the day Carly puts the smackdown on the Frizz and says,
"My cousin was too good for your desperate, needy, clinging ass."  ~~anita

115. Keeper of the day Liz drowns in her lip gloss. ~~Aradia

116. Keeper of LIZBO's giant pot of WHINE colored, super gloss lip gel. ~~Canfield

117. Keeper of her gallon drum of Mob Moll Maroon lip gloss. ~~anita

118.  Keeper of the day she drops off the dock into the frozen waters.
(Unfortunately, I think her hair is a flotation device and her lip gloss is waterproof.) ~~Wendy

119. Keeper of the hope that Sonny will protect Lizzy the same way he did Lily (click-BOOM). ~~Deb

120. Keeper of the day Lizzy's brownies food poisons somebody to death
because she put rat poison in it instead of baking powder. ~~Coggie

121.  Keeper of the keys to Jason's penthouse so that Lizzy can NEVER move in. ~~Mina

122. Keeper of her ability to make all her Wheel of Fortune partners
come in last place during Soaps Week. (Thanks for nothin' 'Becca...SPIN...BOOM!)  ~~anita

123. Keeper of the day Liz realizes she left her brain in Colorado and takes the
first flight out to retrieve it! ~~ Parul7

124. Keeper of the day Hannah takes her out for monopolizing Sonny while being a petite brunette.  ~~aquart

125.  Keeper of the same stupid lines she keeps saying over and over.
"Independent"  yada, yada....
"demanding grandmother" yada, yada...
"gotta pretend all the time" yada, yada... ~~Anne-SSS

126. Keeper of the "love jones" Guza has for sticking little girls in grown up love stories.  ~~anita

127. Keeper of the day Sorel puts Lizzy Pooh in cement shoes and drops her in the river. ~~Catt23

128. Keeper of the day when Ditzy electrocutes herself when baking brownies ~~Catt23

129. Keeper of the day Lucky says, "I guess you only REALLY love guys who can blow you up."
~~LilyWhite

130.  Keeper of the day Saint Elizab*tch STOPS centering the right to mourn Lucky around her,
even in the face of the boy's mother, Laura. ~~Coggie

131. Keeper of the day that GH acknowledges that Laura's loss of her son
should be honored more than Elizab*tch's loss of a teenage boyfriend. ~~Coggie

132. Keeper of the day she realizes that six credit hours at PCU is NOT a full load. ~~anita

133. Keeper of the half-assed faux dread locks Lizzy was sporting on  her 1st day with L&B. ~~Kristie

134. Keeper of the fake, polyester leopard who was killed to make Lizzy's tacky "big girl" jacket. ~~anita

135. Keeper of the day that no one will be able to tell the difference
between Slobbin and Sliz.  ~~Cristina T.

136. Keeper of the day Carly beats the sh*t out of Lizzy for breathing
the same air as she does. ~~Cristina T.

137.  Keeper of the day Carly punches Elizabitch for having the nerve to say anything about...
ANYthing. ~~Cristina T.

138.  Keeper of the day the hellbeasts come to get their leader, Lizzy, and take her back
where she belongs. ~~Cristina T.

139.  Keeper of the day Lizzy gets in the way of Johnny's bullet. ~~Cristina T.

140.  Keeper of the RED, SWOLLEN, HANDPRINT impression that Carly
left on Lizzy's holier than thou, martyred cheek.  ~~anita

141.  Keeper of the day someone poisons her collection of Bonne Bell pot-style lip glosses,
and her collection of Jane cosmetics! ~~MrsFurioGiunta

142.  Keeper of the Day Tammy uses Lizzy's brillo pad ponytail to scrub all the pots at Kelly's. ~~ Aradia

143.  Keeper of the blank look Sliz gets from Lucky on his first day back in PC.  ~~Nancy

144.  Keeper of the wind gusts Slizzy feels when Lucky runs by her to give Emily a hug. ~~Nancy

145.  Keeper of the day Sonny tells Sliz she's not welcome in his home anymore because of her
snotty behavior with Carly. ~~Nancy

146.  Keeper of the Day the Joker calls and tells Liz he wants his face back. ~~UhHuh

147.  Keeper of the day Liz tells Tammy about the "ugly chair" that Sonny got Carly, and Mike pipes in
and says, "I got that chair for them!" Then, Tammy follows with, "Yeah, and I helped him pick it out!
NOW GET BACK TO WORK!"  ~~Nancy

148. Keeper of the day Lucky realizes that Cousin Carly is way more fun
to hang out with than his whiny-ass girlfriend. ~~Caren

149. Keeper of the turpentine Carly had to use on her hand
to get all the makeup off after slapping Liz. ~~Caren

 150. Keeper of the day Sonny tells Liz where to stick it. ~~Caren

 151. Keeper of the day Lucky realizes he's actually been kissing a 10 yr. old boy in drag. ~~Caren

152. Keeper of the Day Lucky goes skinny dipping in the Q lake, with Emily. ~~Parul

153. Keeper of the day Lizzy finds Lucky and Emily in a liplock? ~~mikmi

154. Keeper of the day NuStudlyLucky gives Emily a big ol' tongue kiss. ~~LilyWhite

155.  Keeper of the day she connects with her real father & gives Sonny a break.
~~Honeycat

156.  Keeper of the tiny brains of the cult that worships her. ~~Honeycat

157.  Keeper of the day Gia makes her cry. ~~Honeycat

158.  Keeper of her elevation of anorexia to an art form!  ~~Honeycat

159.  Keeper of the day the size of her body catches up to the size of her head.  ~~anita

160.  Keeper of the day Gia performs the Slizzy Smackdown! ~~anita

161.  Keeper of the day that Helena Cassadine finally tells Lucky to TERMINATE HIS
FRIZZY LITTLE QUEEN!!! ~~Solieta

162.   Keeper of the day Liz drowns in a horrifying hair gel accident. ~~Maddy

163.  Keeper of the day someone (besides Carly) hears her taunting Carly about her dead baby. ~~ anita

164. Keeper of the day Sliz chokes to death on Lucky's cocktail weenie. ~~Shawna

165.  Keeper of the day Liz loses Lucky to Gia. ~~Shawna

166.  Keeper of the day Liz is run out of town by Gia. ~~Shawna

167.  Keeper of the day Lucky gets bored with Liz and dumps her on her ass. ~~Shawna

168. Keeper of the Self-Righteous Barbie and the Sanctimonius Ken. ~~Shawna

169. Keeper of the day Liz accidently swallows and realizes that Luck's spunk is funk. ~~anita

170.  Keeper of the day I no longer have to break out in hives when a certain snotty,
weepy-brown-eyed Slizzard is on the screen. ~~Jessa

171. Keeper of the Unibrow that Liz stole from Ernie's buddy Bert. ~~Annie

172. Keeper of the day the condom breaks and Sliz realizes that she's no
better than Carly. ~~anita

173.  Keeper of the day she does the funky monkey with Lucky AND Jason...
...and doesn't shower between. ~~anita

174. Keeper of the barf bag we'll all need on that day. ~~anita

175. Keeper of the day Zander and Emily show Lizzy and Lucky how a love scene is
SUPPOSED to be acted. ~~anita

176. Keeper of the day Lucky bashes Lizzy in the skull with one of his skates! ~~Christine

177. Keeper of the chessboard Faison used to turn Jonathan Jackson into Jacob Young. ~~Christine

178. Keeper of the day old Lucky returns and falls in love with NuLucky, leaving Lizzy all alone. ~~Christine

179.  Keeper of the tape of Lucky's ballad "Elizabeth," so that I can flush it down my toilet. ~~Christine

180. Keeper of Lucky's guitar so that he can no longer write insipid ballads to Lizzy. ~~Christine

181.  Keeper of the necklace Lucky got Lizzy for Christmas
(it would look way better on me, anyway). ~~Christine

182. Keeper of the falsies that Lizzy stuffs in her bra. ~~Christine

183.  Keeper of the day Lizzy has Lucky's child, only to hear him say
the child "belongs with Nikolas." ~~Christine

184.  Keeper of the brownie flavored condoms that Lizzy made from scratch. ~~Christine

185.  Keeper of the day Lizzy gets attacked by reindeer while wearing that stupid elf costume. ~~Christine

186.  Keeper of the pack of birth control pills lying on the floor at Kelly's. ~~Christine

187. Keeper of the day Lizzy paints a picture of herself and Gia punches a hole through it.  ~~Christine

188.  Keeper of the sleazy black lingere Lizzy tried to seduce Lucky with
...so that it can be burned. ~~Christine

189.   Keeper of the day she trips practicing her triple axel and breaks her ass. ~~Christine

190.  Keeper of the day she finds out Sarah won the gold medal in skating,
proving that Sarah IS better at everything. ~~Christine

191.  Keeper of the day that I am reincarnated as a bird so that I can sh*t on her head. ~~Christine

192.  Keeper of the day Bobbie wakes up and finally sues her for all the business lost
when Lizzy closed Kelly's early. ~~Christine

193.  Keeper of the birth control pill PEZ dispenser that looks just like Lizzy. ~~anita

194.  Keeper of the day Zander looks at Lizzy and says,
"I wouldn't get near you if the world were flooded in piss and you lived in the only tree." ~~anita

195. Keeper of the day she threatens Sorel the way she threatened Helena and Zander,
and Sorel squashes her like a bug. ~~anita

196.  Keeper of the faulty camera at the Deception photo shoot. ~~LilyWhite

197. Keeper of the scars that will never fade. ~~anita

198. Keeper of the fat assed apology she'll owe Carly after the truth about the
photo shoot is revealed. The one we'll NEVER hear, of course! ~~anita

199. Keeper of the day glass flies into Lizzie's face. ~~River

200. Keeper of the mirror she breaks the first time she sees her face
after it's been toasted like an omelette. ~~GretaGGG

201.  Keeper of the day, Liz finds out NuLucky has been screwing Gia.  ~~Kavan

202. Keeper of the bottle of Viagra NuLucky needs to facilitate his undercover action with Lizzie.  ~~Kavan

203.  Keeper of the original copy of Eliabeth with the original lyric
"Elizabeth go to sleep, I want to hear you shut up,
I want to smother you with a pillow...all I want is this Elizabeth."
~~Kavan

    204. Keeper of the day when (scar in place) Lizzie says "Am I beautiful?"
                         And Jason says. "Uh, no."  ~~Kavan

205. Keeper of the infectious diseases Lizzy spreads through Kelly's ~~hit_n_run
(but why would anyone want to keep that?)

206.  Keeper of the dat that Lizzy gets attacked by a Geisha girl who asks for her face back! ~~hit_n_run

207. Keeper of the day that Lizzy does Lucky with the taste of fresh Jiz still on her lips! ~~calypso
 

NOT!!!

208.  Keeper of the day Gia hands her a burlap sack and says ''Yes, you ARE an animal.'' ~~StilettoQueen

209.  Keeper of the day Lucky finds out about Jason and screams,
"Carly was RIGHT. You are a SLUT!" ~~anita

210.  Keeper of the day SOMEone, ANYone (besides Gia and Carly)
tells Lizzy to SHUT THE HELL UP.  ~~anita

211. Keeper of the day Gia kicks Pezzy's butt. ~~Iwa

212. Keeper of the day Emily calls Lizzy a liar for not telling her that
her favorite brother was back in town. ~~anita

213.  Keeper of the day Zander looks at Lizzy and says, "No thanks. You're not my type." ~~anita

214. Keeper of the pencil Alan removes from Slizzy's eye int he ER. ~~Bran

215. Keeper of her next "painteen" attempt....GRAVITY ~~MochaZoom

216.  Keeper of the laundry cart Carly passes onto Gia. ~~MochaZoom

217.  Keeper of the day Gia uses said laundry cart to dump Slizzy in an alley. ~~MochaZoom

218. Keeper of the day Lizzy falls off her pedistal and breaks herself. ~River

219. Keeper of the day RealLucky comes home and realizes that Slizzard didn't really
know him at all.  ~~Tina

220. Keeper of the plastic surgeon Slizzy will need after her own click-boom. ~~Tina

221. Keeper of the day Tom gets paroled. ~~Tina

~~~~TOP TEN REASONS LIZZY BELONGS IN THE MOB~~~~

10.  Stealing enemy secrets should be a snap compared to stealing Mr. Murty's English tests.
9.  They say Sorel just LOVES brownies.
8. Her dingy little studio is just perfect in case Sonny's men ever need to "go to the matresses."
7.  The next time Sonny needs to fool Sorel with fake cocaine, he can just ask  Lizzy
to paint some inside his briefcase.
6.  Next time Gram argues with Lizzy, she wakes up to find Gatsby's head in the bed with her.
5.  Liz could ask Sonny to put a hit on Juan, so that best bud Emily will be as depressed
and alone as she is.
4.  If Johnny or Benny ever need a disguise----plenty of make-up handy!
3. Lizzy will have a new way to taunt Nikolas and Gram, by pretending she's sleeping with Sonny!
2. Cyanide is very easily added to most brownie recepies.
1.  Maybe Sorel has a grandmother that Lizzy could make cry!

Lizzy's Daily Planner...A Day in the Life of an Airbrained Twit
by Val (Carly_Corinthos on SZ)

The Anti Lizzy Keepership site created by Anita, January 25, 2000
More Keeperships ALWAYS welcome!

Last update 11/13/02

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