No 'ultimate sap' in this goodbye
So. This is my last regular column as an undergraduate student at Saint Mary's.
I'd always thought that I'd put a lot of time and effort, a lot of sweat and tears, into my last column here. After all, I've been doing this every two weeks for the past three years. And although I've produced some sloppy thinking and bad writing over the years, I've also written a few pieces that I'm still really proud of. Overall, writing this column has been a blast and I don't regret it for a second. Well, except for the three million seconds I'd spend before every deadline desperately trying to find a topic.
So that's why I thought that I'd reward my nine loyal readers with something really phenomenal for this column. Something touchingly poignant, or brilliantly witty or stupendously profound. Something that would make people turn and look at each other and say, "Wow." Something that people would bring up as a conversation topic. "Hey, did you read The Observer today? There's a great column in here! You gotta read it." Something that would make hordes of people rush for their scissors and make a mad slash at the paper in order to clip this out.
I haven't written anything brilliantly witty since my freshmen year, when I had my English/philosophy tandem. I haven't written anything stupendously profound since my sophomore year. And touchingly poignant?
Hmm. I don't think I've ever done anything that was touchingly poignant. (Hey, I use "touchingly poignant" as a synonym for "ultimate sap." It's just not my genre.)
In fact, I haven't done anything all semester. Yes, all semester. I do not read for my classes. I turn papers in days late. And I don't stress about it.
On the other hand, I have friends who don't turn papers in this semester at all. So maybe I'm doing better than most.
In other words, the senioritis bug has finally bitten me too, and I don't have the energy left to write the earth-shattering, news-making, Ted Koppel-calling column that I wanted to.
Oh, well. This response is a sure sign of senioritis. Please understand one thing. Seniors do not care anymore.
I would however, like to take the time to thank the people who made writing this column such a great time. The various highjinks of administrations, national and collegiate; my friends, who would laugh at some inane thing I said and told me to turn it into a column; and my parents, who would valiantly try to give me topic ideas when I whined I had nothing to write about, and then patiently put up with me when I rejected every single idea they suggested.
I'd also like to thank my parents for all the criticism (good and bad) they gave me. If I'm a better writer now than I was three years ago, it's because of them.
Finally, I'd also like to thank the two people who had lunch with me this afternoon. When I whined about how I wanted to make this a really good column and couldn't think of anything, they suggested that I write just that.
Blame this on them.
Nakasha Ahmad is a senior at Saint Mary's whose e-mail address is email@example.com.
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.
All Viewpoint Stories for Monday, May 1, 2000