Top Ten Reasons ND Footbal Team Shoots Itself in the Foot
Letter to the Editor
10. They trust Big Ten officials to understand exactly what constitutes a touchdown.
9. In an attempt to psych out the other team by not throwing a pass, they psych themselves out by forgetting to hand off the ball.
8. Tony Driver forgets that he's on offense and tries to gain negative yardage.
7. Impressed by his image as a quarterback unafraid to take a hit, Jackson tries to run into defenders instead of through the holes.
6. Joey Goodspeed, aggravated by his last name for some unknown reason, tries in earnest to have everything but "good speed."
5. In Michigan, the offensive line were hit with many false start penalties because they got all excited when they looked up at the scoreboard and saw themselves on TV.
4. Bob Davie is so concerned about what cheers the band plays during the game that he forgets to act as head coach of the football team.
3. They overlook the field goal kicking talent of one of the dolphins from from Sea World and start Sanson instead.
2. Jackson occasionally thinks he is playing basketball and tries to bounce pass the football to the pitch man.
And the Number One way the ND Football Team Shoots Itself in the Foot:
Oh sorry. I didn't get a chance to finish the last one. I RAN OUT OF TIME.
September 12, 1999
All Viewpoint Stories for Monday, September 13, 1999