Just a little
Nothing is quite as enjoyable and quite as horrible as falling in love during these four years of undergrad. Why any of us go through it all and how we ever have any fun is written deep in our chemical structure, because using logic, there is no good reason to go through with any of it.
Lions and Tigers and Girls, oh my. (This is written in a guy's perspective, but I assure you that there are no enjoyable parts for girls either.)
At the time, this doesn't seem like a bad idea. You're a special person with many special gifts to offer. Maybe there is some very special person out there for you to share life with and spend some special time together. Anyway, your hormonal fervor could really use a boost and you're willing to do anything to get that libido under a blanket with the lights off. That includes brushing your teeth, tying your shoes, shaving, combing your hair, acting cool or tough or funny all the time — whatever your game may be. This also includes working out, and doing your homework in case a girl asks for help. If you are one of the few skater punks left on campus, it's time to get that new piercing or tattoo. All this makes you look like a great person. People will start wanting to share anytime, right ...? Just before you are about to give up:
So now you've got a few prospects under your belt and it's time to start reeling them in. This is a careful balance. You've got to make sure you don't seem too easy, but you don't want to make it look like you aren't going to make any time for them at all. You don't want to seem like a pushover, but you also don't want to seem like a jerk. You've still got to make time for your friends and let this girl know that you've got plenty of them. You are all also willing to meet all her friends, be honed to her likes and dislikes and, oh, my, gosh, you have the same ones. Now is the time to reinforce that YOU are a 10 on the cool charts! Activities? You got `em! And wow, do you look good with your shirt off.
So you picked your favorite one, now it is time to get on with the opening of the treasure chest of fun. The dating is great. You can go out to eat, just the two of you in your own cute and very exclusively special little world — and then you can start explaining to your friends why you can't go out and play football on the quad. You can integrate her into your friend circle to find out that she doesn't fit in like you imagined. Then one day you are studying at the library together and realize you haven't really looked at her the whole time you were there, and when you do, she has a booger on her face. Did you ever imagine that a relationship could be this great? You have to meet her at the opposite dining hall for dinner. You find that more and more time disappears at the hands of this man-killer.
Man, you were sure you wanted this to happen, but now that it has, you can't really believe that it was she that broke up with you. You can't believe how good you had it for awhile. You spend a lot of time thinking about it. You have a few roads to take after this happens. You can either pledge to yourself to do everything you can within your powers to win her back, or you can try to make her jealous and pretend it didn't even matter (but it does… a lot). You are probably taking years off your life by confusing yourself so much.
One more alternative is to get depressed, breakdown and then go crazy. This is a good way to release a lot of hidden cravings you never supposed were inside you. You never knew that going for a run through the bad part of town at four in the morning could be such a rush. You also never knew that picking fights with strangers could also be a regular pastime. And hey, who ever said that a pecan pie diet was bad for you?
You soon find yourself back in Rolf's, working out. You're not taking baths again every day, but soon you will, and it will start over again.It's a vicious circle. Some men have died, some have found ways out, such as marriage. Others will go on forever and ever until they get dizzy and change their grip on the bat, shave the tops of their heads or take up their passion with video games. The best way to avoid all of this mess is to have very short relationships that involve a bar/party and have a very special one-night duration. Go ahead and get whatever feelings you want involved in it, but when the noon bell rings the next day, be free. Wake-up and say to yourself, "college is great."
The views expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Observer.
All Scene Stories for Monday, November 13, 2000