DISCLAIMER: The characters belong to Wildstorm, and are used without permission for entertainment purposes only. This is set just after Stormwatch #13, vol. I.
Nikolas Kamarov watched the sunlight spill through the window and across the floor of his quarters, brilliant and somehow beckoning. Part of him yearned to get up and walk over to the window, to bathe in the light, but he stayed on the bed, in the shadows. He didn't dare.
He couldn't risk absorbing any more energy. Not for a while, at least; not when he had tested his limits so drastically on this last mission. There was so much not even the scientists here knew about his powers, including his 'carrying capacity'. . .
He turned his face away, closing his eyes and willing himself to relax. A futile effort. His body fairly screamed out its weariness, but his mind would not rest.
They had not kept him on the medical deck for long. Once they had been certain he was not 'leaking' any of the energy he had absorbed from the nuclear detonation at Cherepovets, they had released him to recuperate in his own quarters.
Probably assuming they would need the space, Nikolas thought with a trace of wryness. There seemed to be few Stormwatch missions as of late that ended without a least a few field operatives in the hands of the medical personnel.
His mood darkened further as he reflected on how narrowly the members of his team had escaped serious injury. What had begun as a simple investigative mission to discover the fates of the Russian troops lost at the Kasny Medvyed base had turned into something very different with Yevgraf's escape from his containment pod. No, Nikolas corrected himself scrupulously, not Yevgraf, only M.A.D.-1. Constantin Yevgraf, his friend, was long dead. All that was left was a twisted ghost of the man, lost inside that armored shell.
A ghost that had come very closer to killing countless people with his attempt to detonate Cherepovets' entire complement of missiles. Nikolas shivered involuntarily, the dull ache and odd, relentless sense of. . .pressure that seemed to have taken up residence within every muscle of his body since he'd absorbed the blast increasing sharply for a moment, as if in reaction to the memory.
Such an explosion would have meant instant obliteration for many of his countrymen, and lingering death for millions more. He had reached the detonator too late, seen the reaction begin. There had been no other choice but to try and contain it, and now that terrifying potential was inside him, held barely in check while it slowly dissipated..
He should be content with the day's work, and the closing of a circle that had begun years ago in Afghanistan. Then, his attempt to kill Yevgraf, to carry out his duty as a member of Epeznatz, had failed, yet the injuries he'd suffered had led to the discovery of his latent abilities, and to his career in Stormwatch. . .
To freedom. That was at the heart of it. Here, he was no longer a killer, murdering on behalf of a corrupt state. He could be something more, something better. . .
A soft chime broke the silence, disturbing his train of thought. He sat up, grimacing at the wave of dizziness that washed over him. "Who is it?" he called weakly, wishing that whoever it was would go away. His head was spinning, and he wanted very much to lie back down.
"Nigel and Toshiro. Just thought we'd check up on ye. . ."
Nikolas started to stand up, thought better of it, and remained where he was. "Come in." The door slid aside, and he smiled faintly at his two teammates as they stepped in, Fuji having to duck in order to enter. "It is good to see you, Nigel."
"Same here, Nikolas." Hellstrike said amiably. His voice was the same, Nikolas thought; strange, when his outward appearance had changed so dramatically. He seemed made of blue fire, now. It sparked and danced around the cybernetic chassis Link had created for him.
Nigel's body had been completely consumed by its own fusion reaction after the injuries he'd suffered at Deathtrap's hands. If Toshiro had not somehow, inexplicably been able to reach him, Synergy would have resorted to the drastic step of jettisoning Nigel into space in order to prevent a second, more catastrophic explosion that might have destroyed Skywatch.
"The new containment suits are very. . .stylish, my friends," Nikolas said. "I trust they are fully functional?"
"Not t'worry, lad," Nigel said with a chuckle. "Neither of us are leaking, if that's what ye're concerned about."
"Yes," Toshiro said earnestly. His new containment suits was much more substantial-looking than the old, more like armor. He had taken something of a risk himself, disobeying orders and breaching his suit to reach out to Nigel; Synergy might have chosen to jettison them both. "We would not have chanced coming down to see you if the case was otherwise." He levered his sizeable bulk down onto the windowseat, the single place to sit in the room that would be able to support his weight. "Synergy warned us that you had. . .what was the phrase she used, Nigel-san? 'Bitten off more than you could chew' already?"
"Aye, that was it." Nigel finally sat down, and immediately slouched in the chair, a posture so familiar that Nikolas couldn't help another slight smile. Such small, familiar things were a relief to see. He had been very worried about what less-visible effects Deathtrap's attack might have had on his friend. "Heard ye all had a pretty rough go of it down there. Saw Cannon stomping about, loooking even more angry at the world than usual. . ."
"It was not precisely the investigative mission we had expected, no," Nikolas said with a sigh, shifting position on the bed so that he could lean against the wall for support. He wondered if it would be terribly rude to ask them to leave. He was immensely relieved to see that Nigel was well, but the room would not stop moving, and he really thought lying down again would be advisable at some point in the near future. "I am afraid my first field command will not go down in Stormwatch records as a stunning success."
"Ye're joking, right? Winter, ye saved yer whole bloody country, remember?" Nigel's tone grew concerned. "Are ye sure ye shouldn't be down on med-deck, lad? Ye look a bit rocky."
"They released me to my quarters," Nikolas said tiredly, inwardly flinching at Nigel's wording. Yevgraf had thought the same, that he was saving Russia. So easy to delude oneself, with ideology. "Not quite a clean bill of health. . ."
The door chimed again, and Nikolas blinked. "Come," he said with a sigh, wondering why he was so popular today.
The door slid aside. "Hi," Fahrenheit said with a tentative smile, stepping in when she saw Toshiro and Nigel. "Someone throw a party and forget to invite me?"
"Not quite, Lauren." She seemed all right, Nikolas thought, studying her as intently as he could. She had already been released from the medical deck by the time he had returned to Skywatch, but the memory of her losing consciousness in his arms was still far too sharp for comfort. All field agents knew that the mission always came first. It was part of the 'deal', but it was much easier to know that you were expendable than to decide that others were.
"I do not think Nikolas is in the condition for a party, Lauren," Toshiro said helpfully.
She came over and sat down on the end of the bed, flipping her ponytail back over her shoulder. "Yeah, I see that," she said softly. "Not that I feel up to anything particularly energetic myself. . ." Nikolas couldn't help a wince. She caught the reaction and shook her head, looking half-disgusted, half-amused. "Dammit, Nikolas, don't look so morose. You stopped the psychopathic maniac in his tracks, Russia's still in one piece. . .what more do you want out of a day's work?"
"Eh, let him brood, Lauren. Ye know he's not going t'be thinking straight about this 'til he gets some sleep and gets his head back together." Somehow, even in this new form, Nigel managed to look sympathetic. "Believe me, I know how it feels when old ghosts come back to bite ye on the arse."
Nikolas sighed and closed his eyes. "That's not it," he muttered. Or maybe it was. Old ghosts, Nigel had said, and perhaps that was the problem. It had not been simply Yevgraf that had provoked such shame, such rage in him. His old friend. . .enemy, was only a symbol, nothing more. Not just of his past, but his country's past. . .and the shadows that loomed over Russia's future like snowclouds in the Siberian sky.
He opened his eyes, looking bleakly at Lauren. Wondering if she could understand. . .if any of them could. He felt very cold, inside, as if every bit of the nuclear fire Yevgraf had tried to unleash had turned into ice as he had taken it into himself. He so loathed the weapons that had created it. His nation's 'instruments of suicide'. . .
He had been utterly terrified when he had realized Yevgraf's intentions.
"I tried to argue with him, you know," he said quietly, his mouth twisting bitterly in a smile that was not a smile. "When I reached him at Cherepovets. I told him that what he intended was madness. . ."
"And so it was, Nikolas-san." Toshiro nodded. "My country has suffered the effects of what yours so narrowly escaped today. We still do. It is truly terrible, that men such as that should think to inflict such horror upon their fellows." He shook his head slowly. "It is to your credit that you tried, but I do not think anything could redeem such evil."
"Evil?" Nikolas laughed weakly, closing his eyes again for a moment. "Evil is a very subjective concept, my friend. I was the same as Yevgraf, once. Maybe worse." After all, Yevgraf had spared his life back in Afghanistan. . .
"Bullshit," Lauren said loudly, and his eyes snapped open in surprise. She was glaring at him. He told himself that it was only his imagination, that there was not really heat coming off her. "Don't you dare compare yourself to him, Nikolas. Maybe you were both Spetznaz, but that was a long time ago, and you're NOTHING like him. You're a whole hell of a lot better, and I think I know several million people who'd agree with me tonight."
"Lauren. . ."
"And don't argue with me, okay? The self-flagellation's really getting on my nerves. You've got nothing to be kicking yourself about. You were absolutely incredible today." Lauren actually laughed, almost derisively. "That's what's really getting on Cannon's nerves, you know. . .not that he got his ass kicked . It's because he kicked up all that fuss about Synergy putting you in command, and then you didn't even need the rest of us to get the job done." She snorted. "Hard on poor Mitchell's ego."
"The lad could use a wee bit of an attitude adjustment," Nigel said wryly.
"You won't get any argument out of me," Lauren said, getting up. She leaned over and laid a hand on Nikolas's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Look, get some rest. You look like hell. Besides, on top of the whole eating a couple dozen nuclear weapons for lunch business, I seem to remember seeing you get shot at least twice today."
"Three times, actually," he murmured. The third had been a triple blast from M.A.D.-1's pulse cannons that had actually sent him airborne for some considerable distance. It certainly would have incinerated a normal human being, but it had supplied him with enough energy to redirect explosively at his foe. Yevgraf had sown the seeds of his own defeat with that last attack. Nikolas could almost find it ironic.
"Fine, three. You've really got to learn how to duck one of these days, pal." She released him, giving Nigel and Toshiro a stern look. "Out, or do I have to chase you?"
"Anytime, lass. . ."
"Watch your mouth, Nigel."
Nikolas couldn't help a weary smile at the interplay between his teammates. "Spaceeba, my friends," he said, beginning to get up, with the intention of seeing them out, as was only polite. The room tilted wildly around him, and he swallowed, sinking back to the bed, suddenly not quite certain that his legs would hold him.
"Oh, for God's sake, Nikolas, we can find the door. None of us particularly want to have to pick you up off the floor." Lauren strode across to the door, as if proving a point, but then hesitated, smiling warmly at him. "Hell of a first command, Winter," she said softly. "One for the books."
"Aye," Nigel said, getting up and following. "I'm back on active duty, so if I don't see ye for a bit, take care and get rested up, Nikolas."
"I, for my part, am suspended from duty," Toshiro said cheerfully, standing up and almost hitting his head on the ceiling. "Although I should be happy, I think. If my decision to help Nigel had not turned out as well as it did, I think I would either be floating in space or looking for a new job. Synergy was most displeased as it was. So, if you would like any company while you recuperate, Nikolas-san, my schedule is most flexible."
"I will keep it in mind, Toshiro," Winter said, his mouth still quirking upwards in a smile.
And then they were gone, and his quarters were as silent as they had been before. Not quite as empty, though, he thought almost fondly as he let himself slide down into a prone position. He was not any less exhausted than he had been before, but the tension that had kept him from relaxing was less, if not gone entirely.
It was good to have such friends, he thought almost sleepily. His mind was slowing, no longer replaying the events of the day at that frantic, merciless pace. It was not only where he was and what he was doing that had created such a great change in his life. It was the people who fought at his side, as well.
Outside the window now were only stars, the same stars that the boy he had been had watched each clear night, back home in Siberia, as he'd dreamed of a different life.
Watching them, he drifted into a peaceful sleep.
fin