September 16, 2005

Lucky Random Eleven Friday Musical Self-Audit.

If you've never heard "Trans-Europe Express" as a rhumba with xylophones, you don't know what you're missing (#3).

It's Friday, and time to gauge your intrinsic worth as a human being on this planet via the PAINFUL. MUSICAL. SELF-AUDIT (check previous editions in the Musique Non-Stop category for examples). Fire up the jukebox, don't skip over anything, and rate the first eleven tunes that pop up...

1. "You've Never Seen Me Cry" The Flatlanders. The reunited band of legend from Lubbock, Texas plays a laid-back country ballad with lead vocals by one of the most unique singers in existence, Jimmie Dale Gilmore. 7/10.

2. "Ghost Riders in the Sky" Dick Dale. One of the four or so versions of this song I have on the jukebox. About as kick-ass as his cover of "Hava Negila," so I suppose you could use both at a cowboy bar mitzvah. 8/10.

3. "Chocolatina" Senor Coconut y su Conjunto. A rare non-Kraftwerk cover by this Latin-tinged enigma (actually a German DJ). Apparently he's taking on some Thriller-era Michael Jackson covers now. 7/10.

4. "Peace in the Valley" Sam Cooke (and the Soul Stirrers). Basically a lo-fi, a capella rendering of the gospel standard. Nothing special, even with one of the best voices of all time. 6/10.

5. "Johnny Feelgood" Liz Phair. Just the right amount of synth sounds, rollicking guitar, and really disturbing lyrics. 8/10.

6. "Mountain Man" Dinosaur Jr. An early, sloppy, grungy slab of something, with duelling crappy vocals by J. Mascis and Lou Barlow, in all likelihood. I'm not going to research it. 4/10.

7. "Startin' Up A Posse" Anthrax. Oh Lord. Can a song with the background vocal "cunty cunty cunty cunt," even in regard to the declining PMRC, really rate that high, even with the "and this song ain't sexist, either!" disclaimer? It was a "Killer B-side" for a reason. 3/10.

8. "Clover Over Dover" Blur. One of my favorite pieces of decade-mixing Britpop (anything with a lead harpsichord line scores points in my book) from a band I wish was playing instead of Oasis or Coldplay at the Austin City Limits music festival, not that it matters because all the tickets for that day sold out anyway. Fuck the Austin City Limits festival and their $55 day passes anyway. 9/10.

9. "I Can't Stand Up For Falling Down" Sam & Dave. Performed as a real gut-wrenching ballad here (written by Isaac Hayes); I would have preferred the quicker pace of the Elvis Costello cover (but with the impeccable vocals of Mr. Moore and Mr. Prater). 5/10.

10. "I Hate Alternative Rock" Bob Mould. And I hate this song. Did you borrow Eddie Van Halen's power screwdriver or something? Sorry, Bob. 3/10.

11. "Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Spacecraft" Babes in Toyland. A strange voyage for this song, from Klaatu to the Carpenters to riot-grrrl pioneers "If I Were a Carpenter" cover album. In your mind you have capacities, you know? Works for about two minutes. 5/10.

5.9/10. I need to upgrade. Suggestions welcome! You previously shouted your favorites at me with comments to this post, so there's no need to repeat.




Posted by Norbizness at September 16, 2005 07:22 AM
Comments

bad luck. hope you played a second ten to wash it out of your ears.

Posted by: paperpusher at September 16, 2005 08:16 AM

That Senior Coconuts album is SWEET. I love it.

Posted by: Darroc at September 16, 2005 08:31 AM

Try some Cloud Cult. Like Modest Mouse without the annoying low-fi pretensions, mixed with a bit of off-the-wall prog via Marillion.

Advice From The Happy Hippopotamus is the latest.

Posted by: Brian at September 16, 2005 10:53 AM

Eleven songs now? Ask and ye shall receive, Nigel Tufnel.

1. Stereolab, "Motoroller Scalatron" -- One of my favorite Stereolab tunes, a bouncer that builds slowly and moogily. 8/10

2. Arcade Fire, "Haiti" -- I just saw these guys last night at Summerstage in Central Park. The show itself was solid, but for the encore they brought out David Bowie. Wow. Game, set, match: Arcade Fire. 9/10

3. Boy Blue, "Joe Lee's Rock" -- You know Moby's song "Find My Baby"? This is the original blues tune that yielded the "I'm gonna find my baby" line for that. It's cool as a Lomax field recording, I suppose, but not really that great a song on its own. 5/10

4. Sons of the Pioneers, "Old Man Atom" -- This is a phenomenally cool, 1940s country, anti-nuclear protest song. You read that correctly. Just amazing. 10./10

5. Pat Benatar, "We Belong" -- Yeah, that's right. Pat Benatar. 4/10

6. War, "Nappy Head (Theme from 'Ghetto Man')" -- As far as blaxploitation themes go, this one is a stone cold killer. 7/10

7. Overlord, "Love Goes Home to Paris in the Spring" -- Found this on a website devoted to Magnetic Fields covers. The novelty is nice, but I just wind up wishing it were the original. 5/10

8. Johnny Cash, "Mister Garfield" -- I can't believe he recorded a song about the assassination of James Garfield, and I can't believe it's this great. The chorus is a happily repeated "Mister Garfield's been shot down, shot down, shot down! Mister Garfield's been shot down low!" It sounds like it's from a Broadway musical gone horribly, horribly awry. 8/10

9. Jimmy Castor Bunch, "Bertha Butt Boogie" -- One of the many, many Bertha Butt appearances in the funk cosmos of Jimmy Castor. In their prime, this band must've taken in more drugs than the DEA. 9/10

10. Rev. Horton Heat, "Where in the Hell Did You Go with My Toothbrush?" -- Nice change of pace from the Reverend. 7/10

11. Death Cab for Cutie, "Marching Bands of Manhattan" -- This is off the new album, and hasn't soaked in quite enough yet. Still, I thinks I likes it. 7/10

That's a 7.2/10. Christ, that's the exact same score I got at my place. Looks like I'm doomed to the life of a C-minus student. Hello, White House!

Posted by: Otto Man at September 16, 2005 11:40 AM

Never heard of Seņor Coconut til I dropped in on a concert at the Roskilde Festival ...2001 I guess. Was actually just passing by on my way to The Bad Seeds, playing at the opposite end of the square, and never got any further. A tent full of happily stoned people doing the We Are the Robots Cha-Cha-Cha was far better for my soul than the gloomy mr. Cave, anyway.

That was a good year, btw. First time I saw Manu Chao live, was introduced to Ozomatli, and was blown away at a completely fucking fantastic concert by T-Model Ford.

Posted by: Bistroist at September 16, 2005 01:06 PM

Otto, I'm still kicking myself for getting talked out of putting "Bertha Butt Boogie" on the wedding reception CD I gave the DJ. That would've been boss.

"Ecstasy Blues," Gert Wilden & His Orchestra -- Not as cool as it sounds, but still pretty cool. 7/10

"Tsunami," Southern All Stars -- Imagine crappy '80s balladry sung in overwrought Japanese. Sound cool to you? Me, neither. 3/10

"Look Thru the Eyes of a Fool," Roy Wood -- Mindnumbingly catchy, yet stunningly sucky. 3/10

"Glory Days," Bruce Springsteen -- The people in this song seemed so old to me when this was on the radio, but The Boss was only a couple of years older than I am now when he wrote this. Still not a particularly cool song, though. 4/10

"Running You and Me," The Pretty Things -- Cool acoustic guitar runs and vinyl hiss make this tune by the more British Rolling Stones a solid 7/10.

"If You were Still Around," John Cale -- God, this is depressing. 6/10

"Bog People," Xiu Xiu -- This guy rules. 8/10

"Backwater," Brian Eno -- So does this guy. 8/10

"Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)," Journey -- This may not be all that cool, but there's no denying the awesome majesty of this windblown arena rock masterpiece. 4/10

"I Was Young When I Left Home," Bob Dylan -- Yes, and you were young when you recorded this song, too. 7/10

"Pump Up The Volume," M/A/R/R/S -- I was totally cutting out some lines at my desk when this came on, dude. 9/10

Aggragate score: 6.0

Posted by: TravisG at September 16, 2005 01:45 PM

Otto, I'm still kicking myself for getting talked out of putting "Bertha Butt Boogie" on the wedding reception CD I gave the DJ. That would've been boss.

That would've been amazing. The musical highlight of my wedding was having the wedding party walk in to Outkast's "So Fresh, So Clean." If only I'd thought of Jimmy Castor....

My college roommate had his wedding party enter to AC/DC's "Back in Black." That worked on so many levels.

Posted by: Otto Man at September 16, 2005 02:34 PM

My list is here.

I'll suggest Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings for soul music, four tet for "intelligent electronic music," whatever that means (great song: smile around the face). I'll second Xiu Xiu as some good but strange music.

Finally, I'll submit The Lovemakers for fun dance music now and embarrassment when you try and decide why this was a good idea five years in the future.

Posted by: fulsome at September 16, 2005 02:36 PM

tgif tunes from the 60s for all - download, listen, enjoy, then go buy:

1. the sandpipers - to put up with you
http://s21.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1M25BRXTXT40508AVPOJ5J2B2S

2. claudine longet - small talk
http://s21.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=02YN2A2RU7RS42V9THD7YRV8GJ

3. glen campbell - guess i'm dumb
http://s21.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3HWC4G9WXKI0G37UEXXEMUP0FL

4. harpers bizarre - wichi tai to
http://s21.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1N583XJMMBJHB37ZA29YPLV8SK

5. millenium - to claudia on thursday
http://s21.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=04U149W7H176A25RULR67A93PU

6. phil cordell - red lady
http://s21.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=36KJHFDLE10PS14633E2H0DTV1

have a great weekend, all!

Posted by: pop renaissance at September 16, 2005 03:19 PM

There's no way any cover of Ghost Riders in the Sky deserves 8 points ;)

Posted by: aldahlia at September 16, 2005 07:45 PM

on the kraftwerk covers tip, check out the excellent work done by the Balanescu Quartet.

And since I know you like Kool Keith, have you heard Diesel Truckers (his recent collab. with kutmasta kurt) yet? It's the dope.

Posted by: Sifu Tweety at September 16, 2005 07:58 PM

Here's what I never see in your top tens that I think you might like:

Air
The Decemberists (playing in Austin next Saturday!!!)
Cibo Matto
Buffalo Daughter
Smart Went Crazy
Beauty Pill
Nick (fucking) Cave

...I'm sure there's more, but what the fuck am I doing? It's 7 fucking thirty on Saturday morning.

Posted by: drublood at September 17, 2005 07:33 AM

I love that Carpenters tribute album. I practically wore the tape out in college; I should get it on CD.

Posted by: Clancy at September 17, 2005 08:57 PM