Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Suddenly Simple
My ‘earthshaking’ (for me anyhow) revelation on Monday has continued to variously wreak havoc and incite bliss in my consciousness (not to mention my dreamwork). Truly, the shift in consciousness I experienced in my truck at that moment was a massive perceptual re-arrangement. A bit scary, but endurable particularly given the ramification of the insight in almost every area of my life. Despite the $0.10USD words and elaborate psychological theories involved in this insight, the integration that followed has lead to a very simple experiential awareness applicable to most anything I have encountered in the last two days. Even at a corporate level my application of this new knowledge was accepted, respected, and assisted in furthering conceptualization of a multi-national dilemma, eventually to result in a book in an unrelated field, but for which I have supplied the title and premise.
Interpersonally, I have been struggling somewhat with this in a particular setting in which understanding is easily misinterpreted as sickness. However, my spiritual guide has assured me that a massive progression toward clarity has been set in motion and my discomfort is largely around the potential for conflict that this new knowledge lends. Fortunately, great suggestion was afforded me, and taken wholeheartedly, in how to manage conflict and differences of opinion in this particular social milieu.
It is surprising to me how my extreme desperation, and eventual submission through exhaustion, continues to be an integral part of my growth. In accepting this, I was initially dismayed at the unfamiliarity of being undeniably and consumingly lost. I see now that this is precisely the step that is required for increased awareness. To relent in direction finding allows one to observe reality for what it is: a falsehood, a misperception. Only then may one process the surroundings for what they truly are, be found, and select (yes, choice) a direction for conscious movement. I do not think that makes much sense and is poorly articulated, but hopefully it will remind me of the basic concept I had in mind this morning.
Three more books on Taoist philosophy arrived today from Amazon. Unfortunately, I have been given a deadline for a major task and will not be able to enjoy them any time soon. I will instead attempt to complete six months of work in two days: Saturday and Sunday. I may or may not succeed, but I will certainly succeed in trying. For now, I continue addressing the next most pressing project.
Job #2 changed drastically today as I made a new beginning. This time around, the subject matter involved in the work is dear to me and something that I am enthusiastic about. Some might even suggest I have a certain expertise in the subject. I continue to fight this presumptuous assertion, but must admit that my reasoning for attempt at remaining humble is based on a fine understanding of the fundamental tenets. Again, a paradoxical endeavor, but one that I most fully appreciate and revere, thus lending me what they are calling ‘expertise.’ Semantics is Chomsky’s area. I will stick to feelings in relationships.