
pmsandvodka
42 things
Be a good mom
Go figure... — 1 year ago
There are several aspects of parenting that I think are so crucial to strive for. I have tried to teach my children, through words and action, that we are all human beings, regardless of color, gender, race, religion, handicap, sexual identity, even of status (or the lack thereof.) I have 3 sons, ages 24, 22, and 8, and all three know that I accept, embrace and love them unconditionally regardless of who they are or what they do in life or who they love. I have been reproached by more than a few people for being open and honest about such issues as religion and justice and especially homosexuality. I have long said to them that it is not who you love, but that you love. I could go on and on about all the things I hope to be and do for my sons, but there is one other issue that I feel very stongly about that I just can’t leave unsaid.
I think that we, as parents, need to listen to our children when they talk to us, and that we give their thoughts and ideas the respect and attention they deserve. One experience I had a couple of years ago is the perfect example of that. There was a little boy in K-Mart, he was maybe 4 or 5, and he was in line in front of me in the garden department with his mom. He had something in his hand to show her, and he kept tugging her shirt and saying “Mama. Mama. Mama. Look, Mama, look at what I found.” Over and over and over again, but she never even turned her head to look, let alone respond. I was getting really pissed by then, but he was so sweet and patient, and just kept it up, “Mama, mama, mama…” until finally she whirls around and shouts “Jesus Christ! WHAT??” and he holds out his hand and she heaves this huge sigh as if the effort was almost too much for her to bear, and she glances at the object on his outstretched palm—and then slaps the object from his hand and yells “What are you picking that shit up for?? Haven’t I told you not to pick up every damn rock you see?? Now your hands are filthy…” His little face fell and I am about ready to open my big mouth when he says, while searching for the pebble, “But mama, it’s shaped like a heart. I found it just for you.” OMG! I had to turn away so I didn’t bawl in front of him. By now she had turned away from him again, and when he found the pebble he held it toward her again and said “See, Mama?” and she says “I THOUGHT I JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO PICK THAT SHIT UP!” I swear I was ready to knock her teeth down her throat, and I am not a violent person! So now I am trying to keep control of me, and I knelt down and asked him if I could see the rock. His face lit up like a Christmas tree, and he held it out to me and said, with a voice amazingly still full of love and pride, “It’s shaped like a heart! I got it for my mom.” So I oohed and ahhed over it and told him I thought it was the best gift a little boy could give a mom, and if my son had found one for me I would keep it forever and ever. Oh, my, but he just beamed! It absolutely broke my heart, and as soon as I got finished with my purchase I went out to my car and cried like a baby. I wept for that sweet kid, and for his mom too, because she never did look and she never did acknowledge him other than to tear him down.
To me, it’s all about being human.