Have you ever been late to work or missed a day of work due to illness? Yes, but not often. No! The world consists of people who are completely healthy, but afraid to work. I haven't missed a day in five years. My boss would kill me if I did. I don't work. What is your most prized possession? My manhood. My violin. A picture of a woman with a large fur muff. I cut it out of a magazine and framed it myself. My sanity - for the love of God, please don't make me stay here another minute! My firm. The anonymity provided by my significant other. What is your favorite food? I'm not too picky The charred heads of misbehaving employees. Rotten cheese and putrid vegetables. Apples - they double as a deadly weapon. I find that food is rarely prepared properly, so it's hard to pick a favorite. Food? Food?!?! Can't you get someone else to cook for you? What would your first thought be if you awoke one day from troubling dreams to find yourself changed into a monstrous vermin? What a grueling job I've picked. This getting up so early makes one a complete idiot. I would scream and faint dead away. A monstrous vermin? That's just an excuse to miss work. How did I manage to sleep through my alarm? Well, if I hurry, I can still catch the next train. I don't know, but if I found out that there was a monstrous vermin in the house, I would leave and never come back. I would run around, screaming like the wuss I am. I would try to kill myself. What is your purpose in life? I live to be domineering and manly. I have no purpose. I live for work, but even my work is pointless. Playing the violin. Uncovering the scams of lazy workers. Getting the hell out of here! Making sure I get what I'm owed. Making sure everything is "just so." I'm not sure. What are your friends likely to accuse you of being? A traitor. Domineering Submissive A work-a-holic Someone who runs away when things get tough Insane Greedy and uncaring What are your feelings about pets? They should be part of the family. They're OK for a while, but when the novelty wears off and they become a burden, it's best to get rid of them. They should be beaten into submission They distract people from what's important - work. Pets? In this house? I'm leaving!