TIMO

13

"Too bad we didn't bring our cameras," said Hester.

"You wanted a picture of Zubov to keep in your pocket?"

"Zubov! As soon as you went over by the cages, he started telling me we had to obey his every whim. They're paying the kid minimum wage, and he thinks they'll go out and capture a couple of slaves for him just because he tells them to."

"He never did have any brains."

Hester looked around. Meeko sniffed around. Meeko didn't consider himself lost. He simply lifted his leg on everything. Then he felt right at home.

"No moon," said Hester.

"How do you know?" I said. "The trees are so thick you couldn't see it anyway."

"That's what I mean."

"What good would it do if we could see it? The bugbears have our hazelforks."

"Don't be stupid. We can cut new forks anytime. The power belongs to us, not to any particular twig."

"You have your pocket knife?"

"No. But you have yours."

"How do you know?"

But I did have it, of course. I carry it whenever I have a pocket. Hester identified some hazel and we went to work cutting and stripping new hazelforks.

When we finished, she said: "O.K.--back to the clearing."

"What for?"

"We have to find the moon, and the clearing where the saucer landed has the only open sky we know about around here. Besides, we have to spy on the bugbears."

"What?"

"Gather information. Find out why they're collecting all those snakes."

" It's obvious. They just want a food supply." I didn't like the idea of going back there.

"I assume they had to eat before they ever hired Zubov. I think they have some special reason to collect so many snakes."

"Maybe Wolfgang knows. We should try to find Wolfgang."

"Timo, you're just making excuses." Hester started walking back to the saucer. Meeko followed her. Unless I wanted to spend the night alone in the woods, I was going to have to give in.

"Not so fast," I said. "Wait up."

We stopped at the edge of the clearing in the shadow of the trees. Three bugbears were sitting out in the meadow in lawnchairs. One was smoking a pipe. Another kept scratching the back of his neck. The third blew his nose into a paisley handkerchief.

"We should have killed them right away," said Neck- scratcher.

"I wanted to find out how much they knew," said Pipe-smoker.

"Who cares?" said Neck-scratcher. "Animals never know much. They just follow their instincts."

Nose-blower disagreed, "These animals have extremely complicated songs. In some ways, they're almost like people."

"Nonsense," said Neck-scratcher. "We've had plenty of time to study the monkey we've trained to help us gather snakes. You're not asking me to believe that he's intelligent, are you?"

"What about the other two?" said Nose-blower. "Look at the way they opened all the cages."

"A typical monkey trick."

"What about their cities?"

"The ants and termites have constructed better cities. And nobody considers them intelligent."

Pipe-smoker hadn't said much, but he puffed faster and faster on his pipe. Finally he interrupted the other two: "You can argue about animals later. Right now we have to figure out what to do."

"I don't see any problem," said Neck-scratcher. "As soon as the monkey gets the snakes together, we proceed according to plan."

"And what about the foxes?" said Pipe-smoker.

"That's not my department," said Neck-scratcher. "Ask your girlfriend."

Nose-blower was female, I guess. Maybe Neck-scratcher was too. I didn't know how to tell the difference.

Hester wanted me to translate, but I shushed her. I couldn't listen and translate at the same time.

"I smell something funny," said Pipe-smoker.

"Yeah," said Neck-scratcher, "so do I. Your pipe."

"No. I mean something stinks like a monkey."

The wind had changed. They could smell us.

"That's just your girlfriend's pet monkey."

"He's not a pet," said Nose-blower. "He's practically a person. How would you like to have to gather all those snakes yourself?"

"That's not my department," said Neck-scratcher.

"Will you two stop arguing," said Pipe-smoker.

"Well if foxes aren't your department, and monkeys aren't your department, and snakes aren't your department..."

"Please," said Pipe-smoker.

"You know very well what my department is," said Neck- scratcher. "You're jealous."

"Jealous! Big deal. Put the snakes back in Ireland. Who cares?"

They were planning to put the snakes back in Ireland!

"It's the only place on the planet where we don't have a stronghold."

"Big deal."

"We have reason to believe that the foxes have made Ireland their headquarters."

"So what? I thought you considered the foxes mere animals."

"Yes! Animals that are interfering with progress! They have to be wiped out."

Pipe-smoker said: "I hate to pull rank, but the next one who interrupts me gets ten demerits. Now. If I understand you correctly, you think we should go ahead with the infiltration of Ireland."

Neck-scratcher nodded.

"Very well. Let's get moving, then." Pipe-smoker stood up.

"Don't you want to hear what I think?" asked Nose-blower.

"Ten demerits!" said Neck-scratcher.

"I have a right to be heard."

Pipe-smoker sat down again. "All right."

"I think we ought to wait until we experiment on some foxes and monkeys."

"What for?" said Neck-scratcher.

"To increase our scientific knowledge. But a military mind like yours can hardly understand."

"That's enough," said Pipe-smoker. "You can experiment later."

"But darling," said Nose-blower.

"I've made up my mind."

"And very wisely too," said Neck-scratcher.

Meeko wandered out into the clearing.

"Hey!" said Pipe-smoker. "Isn't that the dog we captured when we surprised those foxes near Camp Kittiwake?"

Nose-blower was sulking.

"What's the matter?" said Neck-scratcher. "Swallow your tongue?"

Pipe-smoker stood up and went after Meeko. The stupid dog stood his ground and started growling.

"Meeko!" I shouted.

The bugbears all saw us then.

"Get them!" said Neckscratcher.

"Don't hurt them!" said Nose-blower. "I want them in good shape so I can do some experiments."

"What are they saying?" asked Hester.

"Never mind. Throw Meeko the wand."

"What?"

"Do it. Here, Meeko! Fetch! Get the stick!"

Hester threw the ironwood wand and practically beaned him. He picked it up. He'll always pick up a stick if you give him the chance.

"O.K., let him fly," I said.

Hester intended to let Meeko fly. And in an instant he was out of Pipe-smoker's reach.

"Let's get out of here," I said.

And the two of us started dousing for water with our new hazel forks.

The bugbears were closing in on us.

With the ironwood wand in his teeth, Meeko could control the pattern of his flight. He started swooping down at the heads of the three bugbears. They had to duck. Neck-scratcher tried to grab Meeko, but couldn't do it.

"Throw away the wand!" said Hester. "Brilliant! How do we stop the bugbears now."

Just shut up and find some water."

"If I had the wand I could juggle them for a while."

"Meeko's keeping them busy.

But he couldn't keep them busy much longer.

14

Just then, Zubov came outside. "Hey," he said. "What's going on?"

"I think I'm getting a nibble," said Hester. Her hazel fork was trembling. I went over to her, and felt my fork begin to vibrate too.

"Excuse me, boss," said Zubov to Pipe-smoker. "Can I have a word with you?"

"Can't you see I'm busy?"

"It won't take long."

"Have you finished cleaning up the snakes?"

"Sure. But I just thought of something."

"Tell me later."

"It can't wait. I just realized that it's my turn to serve Mass next week."

"What?"

"My mother would kill me if I tried to skip out."

"Serve Mass?"

"You know. Help the priest in church. So I guess I'll have to quit my job and go home."

"Quit your job?" Pipe-smoker seemed bewildered. "But my dear Thomas, I thought you liked it here."

"Oh, I do. And I sure am grateful for everything you've done."

"I told you," said Neck-scratcher as he took a swipe at Meeko. "They're animals! No business ethics whatsoever." He was speaking his own language, of course, so Zubov didn't understand him.

Hester and I had been walking in circles near the place where we felt the nibble. Now I had a strong pull. "Over here," I said.

The moon kept shining and I couldn't see a cloud anywhere. I reversed polarity. A moment later, Hester did the same. Now all we had to do was to feel hilarious.

Have you ever tried to feel hilarious with three giant apes closing in on you?

"Ladies and Gentlemen," said Hester, "I give you--the President of the United States." And her feet left the ground.

I was beginning to think that a knowledge of politics could sometimes come in handy. I decided to brush up on current events, if I ever got the chance.

Zubov was still arguing with Pipe-smoker.

"No," said Pipe-smoker. "You can't go home. That's final."

"You can't force me to stay," said Zubov. "It's unconstitutional."

"Get back inside."

"It's kidnapping."

"Move it. Now!"

Zubov kicked him in the shin. Pipe-smoker was hopping on one leg, holding the other in his hands, and howling.

I felt my feet leave the ground.

"Hey, Timo," said Zubov. "How about a lift?" And he stuck his thumb out like a hitchhiker.

"Hop on," I said. "But make it snappy. I hovered low enough for him to climb on. Then I gave him the best piggy- back ride of his life. "Come on, Meeko!" I said.

Meeko had been bonking the bugbears on the head with the ends of the ironwood wand. Now he flew up above the treetops where Hester and I were hovering.

"Where to?" I asked.

"Don't ask me," said Hester.

But Meeko seemed to have a homing instinct. He flew away and we followed him.

I like the air on summer nights. The air up in the air is even better than the air on the ground. I didn't know if Meeko knew where he was going. But I didn't worry about it. I was enjoying the view. I looked down on ragged woods and neat farms. I read the signs on barn roofs. After a while things began to look familiar.

"Hey," I said. "I think I know where we are."

"My arms hurt," said Zubov.

"That's Tinker's Creek."

"Right," said Hester. "That's Bedford Reservation."

Meeko was leading us home, not back to camp. "He's going to my house," I said.

"Can you get us back to camp from there?"

"Sure."

Zubov said, "Just drop me off at my house."

Instead I dropped him off at the corner of my street. He didn't bother to say thanks. "You're welcome," I said.

Hester, Meeko and I walked to my house. I let Meeko in.

"What's that?" said Hester.

"What?"

"I thought I saw something go down behind the houses in the next block."

"What kind of something?"

"Luminescent."

"I didn't see anything."

"I'm not sure. I just caught it for an instant when I turned my head."

"Probably the moon reflecting off something."

"I guess."

"We have more important things to worry about."

"Like what?"

"We have to save Ireland, don't we?"

"Save Ireland?"

"From the snakes."

"Timo! What are you babbling about?"

Hester didn't know about the diabolical conspiracy to put the snakes back in Ireland. In the excitement of making our escape, I didn't have time to tell her what the bugbears had been planning.

"I found out what the bugbears are up to," I said. I told her.

"Wicked!" she said, with admiration in her voice. "What are we going to do about it?"

"Let's go back to camp. If Wolfgang wants us, that's where he'll look."

"Why don't we fly over to Ireland and have a look around."

"Hester! Are you nuts?"

"We'd have enough water under us."

"If the moon went behind a cloud we'd fall into the ocean."

"We could wear life jackets."

"Sure. And swim the rest of the way."

"We could wait till the moon came out and then levitate again."

"Well, you do whatever you want. I'm going back to camp." I doused around until I found a water main. Then I reversed polarity and took off.

"I thought you would at least introduce me to your brother Brian."

"Some other time."

Hester was flying next to me by now. "Can we stop and get something to eat? I'm starving."

"You just had tacos a few hours ago."

"Timothy O'Brien! You know perfectly well I didn't finish eating."

"Well that's what you get for dawdling over your food." To tell the truth I felt a little hungry myself. "All right," I said, "let's stop at Taco Bill's on our way back!"

"Don't tell me you're cooperating!"

"Don't I always cooperate? You're the one who doesn't cooperate."

"You sure Taco Bill's is open at this hour?"

Taco Bill's stays open all night long. It's never too late for green inferno sauce. "Sure I'm sure," I said.

For the second time that night we landed in Taco Bill's parking lot. This time a man saw us. He looked familiar. He had an overcoat that reached all the way to his shoes, and he was carrying a crumpled brown paper bag. He raised the mouth of the bag to his lips, as if he intended to blow it up and pop it like a balloon. Then I remembered where I had seen him before. It was the man from the empty moviehouse where Wolfgang had run the documentary about bigfoot. Was he a spy for the bugbears? Or was he working for Wolfgang, keeping an eye on us, acting as an unobtrusive guardian angel? Maybe he had a hazel fork under his coat.

"Pink elephants," he said. "Ask me if I care."

15

I didn't have any trouble falling asleep. I had only been sleeping for a moment when I felt something tug the summer blanket off my body. A fox had the edge of the blanket in its teeth. I turned over. "Go away," I said. "I've had enough adventure for one night.

But the fox came and sat on my shoulder. I could feel its breath on the side of my neck. "Come back tomorrow night," I said. I turned onto my stomach, so that the fox had to jump to the floor.

Then I heard a rushing sound, like the wind that forces a door ajar. The next thing I knew, a wisedome was getting on the edge of my bunk. At first I assumed it was Wolfgang. But the voice had more gravel in it than his did. "Timo!" I looked up. The wisedome had Wolfgang's blue-grey fur, his big bald head, and his narrow build. "Get a move on," said the wisedome. "We don't have all night."

"Listen, I'm too tired. Come back tomorrow night."

"If you hadn't gone out joyriding you wouldn't be so tired."

I also felt a clump of tar in my belly. "Besides," I said, "I have a stomachache."

"You wouldn't have a stomachache if you had eaten sensibly."

"I don't want to argue. I don't feel too good."

"You mean you don't feel very well."

"I have indigestion."

"Well then bring your indigestion with you when you come."

It was easier to give in than to keep arguing.

The wisedome swirled down to the form of a fox again. We went to the circle of boulders. Wolfgang and Hester were already there. A fox was on the lookout.

"I hope you're satisfied," said Wolfgang.

"I was satisfied when I finished eating," I said. "Now I'm sick to my stomach."

"Don't give me any sass. I'm not in the mood for it."

Wolfgang was mad at us for going out to Taco Bill's. I really hate it when grown-ups blame you for something you never considered wrong. I mean, it's one thing if you commit a crime and they find out. That kind of punishment I can take. But when they punish you for doing some ordinary thing like eating a few burritos with green inferno sauce, you have a right to speak up.

"I didn't do anything wrong," I said.

"I suppose it isn't wrong to get your old teacher kidnapped by bugbears. I suppose it isn't wrong to let the Aliens conquer Ireland with their snakes."

"Don't blame me for that stuff," I said. "I'm the one who rescued you from the bugbears."

"All by yourself?" said Hester.

"I'm the one who found out about the plan to infiltrate Ireland."

"Let's forget about fixing the blame," said Wolfgang. "All that's in the past now anyway. Hester has been telling me what happened from her point-of-view."

"I was just getting to the part about the luminescent thing I saw near your house."

"I didn't see anything."

"And you didn't bother to investigate," said Wolfgang.

"It was getting late," I said. "We wanted to get back."

"So you stopped at Taco Bill's on the way."

"I thought Hester didn't get to that part yet!"

"She didn't exactly tell what happened in chronological order."

I said, "I still don't see what all the fuss is about."

Wolfgang seldom gives a straight answer. He thinks kids should figure things out for themselves. So if you want to know something, he'll start asking you questions. "How did the bugbears find you at Taco Bill's?"

"I don't know," I said.

"They must have followed us," said Hester. "We were levitating, so they must have used their flying saucer."

"And what do you suppose they did when you rescued Zubov?"

"You mean-"

Hester interrupted me. "They followed us again."

I was skeptical. "But I didn't see anyone."

"We didn't see anyone the first time either," said Hester.

"They tracked you on their radar," said Wolfgang. "Of course you didn't see them."

"If they followed us, why didn't they capture us?"

"What do they need you for?" said Wolfgang bitterly. "They have the one they were really after."

"I still don't get it," I said.

"Brian," said Hester. "They were after Brian."

Of course--bugbears are always trying to capture wisedome younglings. They must have figured out why Wolfgang had taught two humans how to fly. I enjoyed levitation so much that I forgot its purpose. I forgot that I was being trained to guard my brother Brian from the Aliens. I went out joyriding and led the creatures straight to him. I might as well have folded him into a box and sent him to the bugbears through the U.S. Mail.

"Brooding about it won't do any good." said Wolfgang. "You're not even sure he's been kidnapped until you check."

"And then what can we do?"

Now that I felt guilty, Wolfgang wanted to cheer me up. "Thanks to your excellent job in the field," he said, "we know what to expect. If we find that your brother is missing, we can go immediately to wisedome headquarters in Ireland. We can report to the Council of Elders."

"And they'll know what to do?" asked Hester.

"They always know what to do," said Wolfgang.

It didn't impress me as a plan likely to save my brother and defeat the Aliens. But I didn't have any better ideas.

Hester and I collected our gear--hazel forks, ironwood wands, cameras, and pocket knives--and met the wisedomes by the river between the girls' barracks and the boys'. We went straight to my house by instantaneous teleportation. Hester had never experienced it before.

"Sure beats levitation," she said.

I don't agree. I enjoy the trip when I go by air. With teleportation, there's nothing to enjoy. But I didn't feel cheerful enough to argue with her.

As we entered the house I heard Meeko snoring in the corner of the living room and Aunt Speed snoring in the master bedroom. Aunt Speed had come to stay with Brian while my parents were on vacation in Ireland.

As we walked up the stairs to the attic where Brian and I sleep, I listened for his snore. He had the loudest snore of all. He doesn't believe me though. He says he never hears himself snoring, so I must be lying when I say he snores.

I knew that I'd hear him if he had fallen asleep. But maybe he couldn't sleep. "Brian!" I called. "Brian? Are you up there?"

But we had made it to the top of the stairs. Brian's bed had nothing on it but a tangle of sheets.

And I still had indigestion.

16

I knew that Aunt Speed had a list of places my parents would be visiting in Ireland on each day of their vacation. I thought I might need to get in touch with them, so I looked for the list.

"Come on," said Wolfgang.

"Wait a minute. I'm looking for something."

"How long do you think we'll be staying in Ireland?" asked Hester.

"How should I know?" said Wolfgang.

"Maybe we should stop at my house and pick up Juanita."

Wolfgang didn't remember Juanita.

"My iguana," said Hester, "Juanita Iguana."

I found the list in the cupboard over the sink, where my mother keeps the mail she doesn't throw away.

"I'm ready to go," I said. "Whenever you are."

"What about Juanita?" said Hester.

"We don't have time." Wolfgang pulled on his chin fur. "However, we can take Meeko."

"It's not fair," said Hester. "Meeko always gets to go."

"You can take Juanita next time," said Wolfgang.

"It's not fair."

"Don't be a crybaby," I said.

Hester turned her back on us. I walked over to her, picking up Meeko on the way. He was still sleeping. Wolfgang and the foxes ran circles around us. The room became a blur.

In Ireland the sun had not come up, but the sky was already light. We were in a green place, grass all around us, all of it wet. The air had a chill to it. Mist made my skin feel clammy.

"Welcome to Cong," said Wolfgang.

"Where's that?" asked Hester.

"County Mayo, in the West of Ireland." He led us all to a big old tree.

"Meeko!" I said. "Wake up!" He growled in his sleep.

The old tree had a big hole at the base of the trunk. Wolfgang and the foxes walked through it. Hester and I had to duck our heads. Inside I had to wait until my eyes adjusted to the dimness. Roots led down in all directions. We followed a path into the earth. For a while the roots were overhead. Then we had nothing around us but stone. A greenish white glow came from the walls and ceiling. I saw some formations that looked like icicles, but according to Wolfgang they were made of solid stone.

The tunnel led to a room with a floor the size of a football field. The ceiling was too high for me to make out. When I looked up I saw only darkness.

Thousands of Wisedomes were playing volleyball in the great chamber. A net stretched across the width of the room. Although wisedomes average about three foot tall, they string their nets at regulation height. In order to spike the ball, a Wisedome athlete had to make a tremendous leep. And yet the players regularly spiked.

With so many players, a human game would dissolve into chaos. But the 1897 Wisedomes on each side of the net maintained perfect order. (I asked Wolfgang and he told me the number of players on each side.) Our 2 foxes spun into Wisedomes and joined the game, making the number of players on each side 1898.

But we had not come to play volleyball. We walked about a third of the way around the edge of the chamber. Then Hester and I had to duck again as we went under a low arch.

A deep voice blasted us from the walls. "Who dares to enter the Hall of the Elders?"

"It's me," said Wolfgang.

"How many times have I told you to use your code name?"

"I don't have time for all that," said Wolfgang. "This is serious."

"All right," said the deep voice. "At least recite the charm."

"Mother," said Wolfgang. "This is no time to fool around."

"The charm!"

"Oh, all right." Wolfgang recited a nursery rhyme.

"Cross Patch

draw the latch

sit by the fire and spin

pour out a cup

and drink it up

and then invite your neighbor in."

"Procedure initiated," said the voice. "I am now drawing the latch." We heard the loud snick of a bolt being closed to lock a door. "I am now sitting by the fire. I am now spinning. How does the next part go?"

"Pour out a cup," said Wolfgang.

"I am now pouring out a cup."

"And drink it up."

"I am now drinking it up."

"And then invite your neighbor in."

"You may enter the hall of the elders."

A stone door swung on a pivot in the middle. Wolfgang went through on the left side. Hester followed him. I carried Meeko through the doorway. I found myself standing next to an umbrella stand. There was a coat closet to my left. It looked like the front hall of an ordinary house, except that it didn't lead to aliving room. It led to a bare hallway. At the end of the hallway, a shriveled wisedome sat in front of a computer keyboard. There was a fireplace next to her and a spinning wheel in front of it. On the desk by the computer sat a pot of tea and a cup. When we came closer I could see that the cup had a few fragments of tea in the bottom.

Wolfgang went down the hall and kissed the creature on the top of the head.

"My little baby," said the elder in a high ragged voice. Then she typed something on the computer keyboard. As she typed, the deep voice rumbled from the walls around us and rattled the umbrellas in the stand.

"What trivial purpose has made you so bold as to trouble the elder presently on duty."

"Mother," said Wolfgang, "I know you like to impress people, especially humans. But we have serious business. I'd appreciate it if you'd cut out the nonsense."

"Worm!" said the walls as Wolfgang's mother typed. "You dare to call the ways of the great ones nonsense?"

"I want you to call the council of elders together."

"The council never meets except on matters of the utmost urgency." She looked up from her keyboard and gave me a wink.

The noise had awakened Meeko. He stretched and shook himself.

"My brother Brian's kidnapped," I said.

"By the bugbears," said Hester.

"He's one of your younglings," I said.

"And the bugbears are infiltrating Ireland with millions of snakes," said Hester.

"Enough," said Wolfgang's mother in her normal voice. She jumped down from her chair and started out the door. "Have some tea," she said before she left. Meeko followed her out the door.

"Hey, Meeko," I said. "Get back here." He came back.

"I won't apologize for my mother's behavior," said Wolfgang. "You don't get to be an elder unless you're childlike."

"Timo's pretty childlike," said Hester. "Maybe you should make him an elder."

"No," said Wolfgang. "Timo's childish. There's a difference."

"Thanks a lot," I said. "Anybody want some tea?"

Meeko was trotting around the hall sniffing everything. "Don't even think of it," I said, meaning that he'd better not lift his leg.

Nobody else wanted any tea. I drank a little myself. It didn't have any sugar in it, but it didn't taste bitter. It reminded me of peppermint candy.

As soon as I drank the tea I had to go to the bathroom. Maybe Meeko put the idea in my head. "Is there a men's room around here somewhere?" I asked.

"Nope."

"What do you mean, nope? Don't wisedomes have to go to the bathroom?"

"We go behind a tree outside," said Wolfgang.

"You go all the way out there?" It had taken almost half an hour to walk it.

"Instantaneous teleportation." he said.

"Well what are me and Meeko supposed to do?"

"Meeko and I," said Wolfgang.

"Nice of you to think of Meeko," said Hester, meaning I hadn't bothered to mention her.

"I don't see how you can have your mind on going to the bathroom at a time like this," said Wolfgang.

"Timo can't help it," said Hester. "His mind just naturally runs to the toilet."

When I asked Hester later why she kept picking on me that night, she claimed that she did it for my own good. When Wolfgang blamed me for the kidnapping of Brian, I started acting gloomy, and Hester was only trying to get a rise out of me. She said she wanted to make me realize that I still liked myself.

Wolfgang's mother came back then with six other elders. We told our story. Instead of doing anything about it, the Chief Elder proposed a game of kickball.

"What good is that going to do?" I asked.

"The ways of the elders are mysterious," said Wolfgang. "Let's go back outside. I have to take a leak."

Next Section of Brian's Story.

Next Section of Timo's Story.