TIMO
17
Outside we went behind different trees. Meeko tried several. Then he spotted something overhead and started barking.
"Baying at the moon," said Wolfgang.
"It's not the moon," said Hester. "Look!"
At first I argued with Wolfgang. It looked like the moon. Then I saw that it was moving. Several other moons, all pale in the morning sky, came floating over the horizon.
"The invasion fleet!" said Wolfgang.
Meeko jumped at the lights. His barking became more frenzied. He ran over and braced his front paws against my legs.
"Get down," I said. "Your paws are all wet."
He grabbed the ironwood wand from my belt. Holding it by the middle between his teeth, he launched himself into the air.
"Come back here!" I shouted. "Meeko! I'm warning you!"
But Meeko was determined to chase the aliens. And in the light of day we couldn't catch him.
"Hester," I said. "Try to snag him with your wand."
She pointed it in his direction. "It's no use," she said. "I can't get a fix on him."
Just then I saw a giant orange balloon swell out of the hillside and float upward. Another one did the same. The air was full of giant orange balloons. They moved slowly at first but picked up speed until they overtook the false moons. One balloon touched and then swallowed an alien vessel. The others did the same. Every moon disappeared inside its own orange bubble. Then the bubbles drifted back out to sea.
"What's going on?" I said.
"The Elders are playing kickball."
But thanks to Meeko one moon had escaped. We saw it swerve and descend. As it came closer it took on the familiar double- saucer shape. It was chasing poor Meeko. He landed and tried to hide behind me. A moment later the saucer landed. By that time Wolfgang was running circles around us in an attempt to escape by means of instantaneous teleportation. But even before it touched down the saucer shot out a capsule containing a net. It popped over our heads and brought us to the ground. Wolfgang couldn't do anything against it. It had sticky strands. Only Meeko escaped, thanks to his outstanding cowardice.
"Now I know how it feels to get caught in a spider web," I said.
"It ought to help you in your future career as an insect," said Hester.
Wolfgang only groaned. He hadn't even managed to change into a fox.
The bugbears gathered us into the saucer and left us in a bare room. I only caught a little of their conversation.
"If we take off the orange bubbles will swallow us the way they swallowed all the others."
"Then we won't take off."
"But we have to proceed with our mission. If our experiment fails, the High Command will no doubt cancel the whole plan!"
"Who cares?"
"Well, we can at least release the snakes we have in the hold."
"Won't do any good. They'll cancel the plan anyway."
"Maybe so. But I know I'll feel better once I let them loose."
"Save enough for supper. Come to think of it, we don't know how long we're going to stay here. Better keep about half of them."
"Why don't we release them and then go hunting when we want to eat."
"Don't argue with me. Just do it."
"It takes all the fun out of it. I'd much rather hunt."
I don't know how this disagreement ended. The bugbears closed the door behind them and I heard no more.
The walls around us were made of dull silvery metal. The bugbears had released us from the net, but had tied Wolfgang's feet together. They had taken all of our equipment--hazelforks, ironwood wands, cameras, pocket knives and the list of places my parents were visiting in Ireland.
Hester and I looked around the room. There was only one surface--it curved back on itself in a seamless dome. I couldn't find the edges of the door the bugbears had used to bring us in. It should have been somewhere near the middle of the floor.
"Well," I said, "I don't see any way out."
"Untie Wolfgang and use teleportation."
But the rope around Wolfgang's legs did not cooperate. It was made of the same sticky substance as the net the aliens had thrown over us. We worked at it for a long time, but couldn't unwind it no matter what.
"Know any good ghost stories?" asked Hester. She wanted to pretend we were camping out. But I didn't need any ghost stories to scare me. I felt frightened enough already. Creatures who could come up with a plan as devilish as theirs could use the same twisted imagination on us. I remembered how Nose-blower spoke of experiments. I didn't want to think of myself as a laboratory rat. Who knows what she might do to us animals in the name of scientific research?
When Hester's suggestion fell flat, she came up with something else. "I don't exactly understand what happened out there."
"I told you," said Wolfgang. "The elders were playing kickball."
"Excuse me if I don't consider that a complete explanation."
"He thinks everything is obvious," I said.
"The elders can repel any attack. But to control our defensive forces, they have to enter a state of no-mind."
"No-mind?" asked Hester.
"Sometimes called no-act, as in the famous summary of ethical behavior, Act no-act."
"Never heard of it," said Hester.
"I've heard of but me no buts," I said. "But I don't know what that means either."
"No-mind and no-act both mean the same thing. Give up striving. Become like water. Or turn completely into fire. Both ways come to the same conclusion."
"How can fire and water be the same?" I asked.
"Change," said Wolfgang. They both change without ceasing. And so does everything that lives. Most people, and especially bugbears, try to change the things they like so that they can keep them forever. Stupid. Because if anything stops changing, or even seems to stop changing, it becomes deadly dull."
Once again Wolfgang sounded a lot like my uncle who talks this way when he's had a few beers. Of course, my uncle never applies this philosophy to bugbears.
"Now," said Wolfgang, "the elders have discovered many good ways to act no act and to mind no mind. All these ways come under one of two headings--becoming like water or turning completely into fire. For example, they could sit quietly doing nothing. Then they'd become like water in less than fifty years. You've heard the old saying, I suppose? Sit quietly doing nothing. Spring comes and the grass grows by itself."
"Sure," I said. "Everybody knows that one. My uncle used to quote it all the time."
"Unfortunately," said Wolfgang, "we didn't have fifty years to spare on this particular occasion. So they used the fastest method of turning completely into fire."
"Kickball?" asked Hester.
"The very thing," said Wolfgang.
"Let me get this straight," I said. "To control the orange balloons you have to act no act."
"Or mind no mind," said Wolfgang. "Whichever comes first."
"I thought you said they meant the same thing?"
"They do, practically. A little joke."
Wolfgang's jokes never made sense.
"O.K.. But to do that you have to play kickball."
"You don't have to if you don't want to," said Wolfgang.
"What if Brian was in one of those flying saucers swallowed by the bubbles?"
"What do you mean what if? I told you, we're completely non-violent. The bubbles will carry the aliens out to sea. Then they'll burst. No harm will come to anyone."
"You mean the aliens can attack again?"
"Any time. But they won't bother. They know it's child's play for our elders to repel them. Now that we know their plan, there's nothing they can do."
18
"In that case," said Hester, "Timo has rescued Ireland from the snakes."
"Essentially, yes."
"You could at least say thank you," said Hester.
"It's all in the line of duty," said Wolfgang. "We expect as much from everybody."
I felt a little better to hear these comments, but I immediately remembered a few depressing facts. The bugbears still had Brian. Now they had us too. And the ship that held us captive also had thousands of snakes ready to spring on the unsuspecting citizens of Cong.
But then I heard a whirring sound. My clothes started flapping as if a hurricane had somehow penetrated the seamless room. Wolfgang's mother materialized. "Did you like the tea?" she said.
"Yes ma'am," I said. "Nobody else had any, but I liked it fine."
"Peppermint. Grows wild in the U.S.A. So does spearmint. You can always tell a mint by the square-shaped stems. Follow your nose at first. When you pick up a strong mint smell, check the stems. Dry the leaves for a couple of months. Crumble them up and use them just like tea. Catnip's a kind of mint too, you know."
"I didn't know that," I said.
"I did," said Hester.
"Would you mind untying my ankles?" said Wolfgang.
"All in good time," said Wolfgang's mother.
"Uh, ma'am?" said Hester.
"You don't know what to call me, do you? Well, you couldn't pronounce my real name. But I have always admired the name Cross Patch. If you need to call me something, you can call me Cross Patch."
"Mrs. Patch?" I said.
"Ms. Patch," said Hester. "And I already started to ask her a question."
"All right then go ahead."
"I forget," said Hester.
"How did you find us?" I asked.
"That's right," said Hester. "How did you?"
"That smart little scottie dog came to get me. Must have followed your scent down through the caverns. Came right up to the hall of the elders and kept on barking till we paid attention."
Wolfgang was pouting. "Can't we have story hour a little later?" he said.
"If you don't learn to control that nasty tongue," said Mrs. Patch, "you'll never make elder in a thousand years."
"So then Meeko led you up here to the saucer?" I asked.
Mrs. Patch nodded.
"What a smart dog," I said.
"Juanita Iguana could have done it just as well," said Hester.
"I doubt that."
"Don't squabble," said Mrs. Patch. "You're as bad as baby over there." She meant Wolfgang. "Now. The bugbears have already released their snakes."
"Oh no!" I said.
"Don't worry. We'll come up with something. But for the time being, here's what we want you to do. Stay put. These aliens have orders to join their allies in America. It seems likely that the scientist in charge of studying the local fauna will have Brian under observation. We know for sure that she'll get you too. We've been doing a little electronic eavesdropping."
"Brilliant," said Wolfgang sarcastically.
"How else can we discover where they're keeping Brian?"
"How soon are the aliens taking off?" I asked.
"Any minute now."
Hester said, "Ms. Patch? Can't we just stop off at my house for a minute and pick up Juanita?"
"We don't have time now dear. But baby has been giving me full reports, and I agree Juanita may come in handy. I've brought a little radio transmitter. As long as you have it, we'll be able to find you. I'll bring a few supplies as soon as possible."
"Including Juanita?"
"Including Juanita."
"Take good care of Meeko," I said.
"Don't worry, I will. Goodbye!"
Again I felt my clothes flapping. Although our situation had hardly changed at all, I no longer felt discouraged. I was on the way to rescue my unfortunate brother Brian. Before I had felt like a prisoner. Now I felt like a secret agent. I thought I knew exactly what to expect.
But not even wisedomes can see the future clearly. Before the flying saucer took off, the aliens managed to ruin my good mood. The middle of the floor opened like the aperture of a camera. Two bugbears dropped the unconscious body of a man on the floor.
It was my father.
19
We were in Ireland less than an hour. As soon as I recognized my father I felt a fluttering in my stomach. I feel that way in an elevator sometimes.
I don't know how long the trip took. Wolfgang said we should try to get some rest. I couldn't do anything for my father, and I did need to sleep. But the metal floor made a poor bed. I would almost fall asleep, and then reach for the blanket, and try to pull it up over my shoulder. When I didn't find any blanket, I'd wake up enough to look for it, and then realize my predicament. The cycle would begin again.
We landed soon after we took off--or so it seemed to me. Maybe I did sleep a little. I do know that it was still dark outside wherever we had landed. If Mrs. Patch knew what she was talking about, we were back in America. In that case, the darkness made sense.
Aunt Speed was probably still sleeping. She didn't know Brian had been kidnapped. With luck we might get him back before she knew anything was wrong. I decided to make it my goal to bring him home in time for breakfast. I could worry about the snakes in Ireland later. The safety of my father and my brother came first. Maybe I could rescue my father before my mother noticed he was missing.
The bugbears tied me behind Hester with the sticky rope. My right ankle had a loop around it. The rope led forward to Hester's right ankle. A short length of rope between right and left ankles hobbled each of us. Our hands were tied behind our backs.
One alien carried my father and another carried Wolfgang. A third marched Hester and me along. We went out into a dark woods. The path was a bit rocky, and I stumbled a few times. It was hard to catch my balance with legs hobbled and Hester tugging my right leg forward. Once I fell and had a hard time standing up again. The alien guard didn't help me, but he didn't hinder me either. He didn't seem at all impatient.
We came to a metal dome. A door slid open. We entered a small room with a flourescent light in the ceiling. The walls were painted light green. I felt my stomach flip again.
"We're going down," said Hester. "It's an elevator."
When the door slid open again we marched down a hallway that reminded me of a hospital. The air smelled like chemicals and disinfectant. I could also smell the bugbears; their smell overpowers you at first, but after a while you get used to it and hardly notice it any more.
The aliens hadn't been talking to one another at all. Neither had we. Maybe everyone was too discouraged to chatter or too tired. They left us in a room with one glass wall. The room contained several tall tables with black stone tops. On the other side of the glass I saw two bugbears. One was smoking a pipe. The other was holding a handkerchief. They were in the middle of a conversation. I could hear them through a metal grill in the ceiling near the glass wall. Our alien guards brought our equipment into the room behind the glass, dumped it on a table, and left. The two in the room ignored them.
"It's no hair off my chin," said Nose-blower. "I never believed in the silly plan anyway. Who needs Ireland? I've said it before and I'll say it again. To control the vermin of this planet, it's going to take scientific research."
"Just as long as you remember," said Pipe-smoker, "that the animals on this planet don't have rights."
"A scientist does not begin with conclusions."
"Yes, dear, I know."
"A scientist begins by collecting facts. A scientist conducts experiments."
"I don't want to argue with you, honey."
"Don't use that patronizing tone with me."
"I can't do anything right, can I?" Pipe-smoker started walking away. "Just do your job."
"I wish you wouldn't mumble things. You turn your back and mumble. How am I supposed to hear you when you turn your back and mumble?"
They sounded a lot like the people who live next door to us. I don't mean Emily's parents. I mean the people on the other side, who don't have any children.
Pipe-smoker left the room and Nose-blower called someone on her intercom. "Zilch? You busy? The animals arrived. You want to see them?"
Zilch appeared a moment later. "Will you look at that! Is the furry one a pet?"
"No, silly. That's one of the vermin. The others are monkeys."
"I like the monkeys better."
"Oh, Zilchie! What am I going to do with you? A scientist can't think of laboratory animals as pets. You're not supposed to like one kind better than another."
"I can't help it, Professor. I guess I'm not meant to be a scientist."
"Nonsense! You don't want to be a lab assistant all your life, do you?"
"Why not?"
"You're an intelligent kid. I hate to see all that talent go to waste."
"I've never been ambitious, Professor. Curious, but not ambitious."
"Are you ready to get started?"
"Any time. What first?"
"Well, I'm sure my critics would say to start with a few electro-shock experiments, and proceed to routine animal-training techniques. But I say there's plenty of time for that stuff later. I want to test a little theory of mine. I think these animals may be more intelligent than we've suspected."
"Vermin have a reputation for cleverness."
"Sure. But I don't mean mere animal cunning. I mean real brains. And I think the monkeys might have as much intelligence as one of our own toddlers!"
"I don't know," said Zilch. "They're cute, all right, but they don't look too smart."
Hester couldn't understand this conversation. I looked over to see if she was bored. She had fallen asleep on one of the tall tables.
Wolfgang was listening as closely as I was. My father was still unconscious on the floor.
"Have you given them names?" asked Zilch.
"No," said Professor Nose-blower. "You go ahead if you want to."
"We'll call the one on the table Sleepy. The one on the floor looks a lot bigger than the others."
"He's the only adult we have."
"I think I'll call him Silver, because of the silver fur on his head. What about the monkey with the big nose? The one that's been watching us?"
"How about Nosy?"
"O.K. Do you want to name the vermin too?"
"Why not. How about Baldy?"
"Fine with me. First of all, you can go in and loosen Baldy's hobble. His legs are probably numb by now. We don't want to have to amputate them. Not yet anyway."
"What about Ears? Should I put him in with the rest?"
"Not yet. I want to think about it for a while."
Brian's ears stick out.
"You think Ears is Brian?" I asked Wolfgang.
"Shhh!" he said.
"What did it say?" asked Zilch. "Nosy said something."
"It's not scientific to consider it a true language," said Professor Nose-blower. "Anyway, I wasn't paying attention."
"Do you mind if I learn monkey language too?"
"It's not a language. It's just a collection of animal- calls."
"O.K.," said Zilch. "But can I learn it?"
"I suppose it makes sense. I don't know when I can spare you though."
"I'll do it in my free time."
"All right. All right."
Zilch gave Professor Nose-blower a sudden hug.
20
I realized that they could hear me as well as I could hear them. I stopped observing and started acting.
"Hey you," I said in their language.
"Quiet!" said Wolfgang. "You want them to find out you speak their language?"
"I mean you, Nose-blower."
Professor Nose-blower didn't answer me. Instead she said to Zilch: "Listen! One of them is imitating our language like a parrot."
"A what?" asked Zilch.
"Another local animal."
I started pounding my head against the glass.
"Zilch! Restrain it! Quickly--before it hurts itself."
"I don't know," said Zilch. He didn't want to tangle with a wild monkey.
Hester woke up. "What?" she said.
"Get moving, Zilch. Now!"
Zilch went out into the hall and then entered our room.
"May I have this dance?" I asked.
"Give it a banana," said Nose-blower. "Monkeys like to eat bananas."
Poor Zilch tried to grab me. In one smooth motion, I knelt and touched my forehead to the floor. My rounded back caught him below the knees and he fell over me onto his face. "Now we're getting somewhere," said Hester.
"I refuse to cooperate with violence of any kind," said Wolfgang.
Hester and I rushed into the hallway and found Professor Nose-blower opening the door to the room on the other side of the glass.
"My turn," said Hester. She had never studied non-violent self-defense. She used a simple technique of wrestling. She crouched, hugged Nose-blower below the knees, and straightened up again. The Professor landed on her back.
In an instant we had our equipment again. As we turned to the door, we saw both bugbears coming at us. "Smile," said Hester, and let them have it in the eyeballs with a flash.
"Say cheese," I said, and zapped them with my flash too. Both of us had strobes. I could hear the tiny whine as they recharged themselves. (A strobe is an electronic flash. When you have one, you never have to buy flashbulbs.)
The bugbears stood there blinking stupidly. "Come on," I said.
"Wait a minute. I want to see how it turns out."
For some reason, Hester had brought a Polaroid camera. She wanted to show the aliens their picture.
"Don't be ridiculous," I said.
"You go find your brother. I'll hold the fort with my ironwood wand."
By now I knew better than to expect her to listen to reason. I went down the hallway trying every door. All but one opened easily.
I came back to the glassed-in room. Wolfgang had hopped out into the hallway. Hester was showing the aliens their picture. When they saw it, they shrank away in fear.
"Typical primitive reaction," said Wolfgang. "They think you've captured their souls or something. They're almost as backward as you humans."
"If you don't do what I tell you, I'll stick pins in your picture," I said.
"What did you say?" asked Hester.
"Where are you keeping my brother Brian?" I asked in the alien's language.
"He's not your brother," said Professor Nose-blower. "He's an immature form of vermin."
Zilch was quivering.
"Never mind the sass," I said. "Just tell me where to find him."
Nose-blower said nothing.
"Maybe we'd better," said Zilch.
"How about getting these ropes off my ankles?" said Wolfgang.
"O.K., you," I pointed at Zilch. "Untie my friend."
"Stay where you are," said Nose-blower.
I took out my pocket knife, opened it, and put the point against the picture of Zilch. He covered his face with his hands, but did not give in.
"Are we going to stand around here all night?" said Hester.
"You're the one who wanted to stay until your picture came out!"
"Well we stayed. The picture's developed. Now we can go."
"All right. Down the hall on the left, second door from the end is locked. Let's go bust it open with telekinesis."
"No," said Nose-blower. "There's nothing there. It's only a closet."
Hester herded the two of them along with her wand. Wolfgang had to wait in the hallway. He couldn't keep up with us. Hester pointed her wand at the locked door. It jumped off its hinges and fell into the room. On one of the tall tables Brian was laying with his eyes wide open.
"Brian?"
"Arise," said Nose-blower in English.
Brian stood up.
"Attack," said Nose-blower.
Brian came at me. Thanks to the power of suggestion, he was doing everything the Professor told him to do.
"Brian!" I shouted. "Wake up!"
But he kept coming. I had to restrain him with a stranglehold. Luckily he passed out, as people often do when you restrain them with strangleholds.
"What a mess," said Hester. "We have two bodies to move, three if you count Wolfgang. And we have to take care of these two somehow. Not to mention all the other aliens we'll probably meet."
"You're the one who busted the door," I said. "We could have locked the two of them inside."
She walked away from me. The two bugbears, no longer restrained by her wand, came towards me. I brandished my own wand. I still couldn't make it work. But they didn't know I couldn't. They had felt the force of Hester's wand. They kept their distance. I backed down the hall after Hester. The two of them ran in the other direction.
"You've solved one of our problems," I said. "The aliens got away."
Hester said to Wolfgang: "Tell Mr. O'Brien that I'm not speaking to him until he apologizes."
"Apologize?" I said. "For what?"
"You two can fight it out later," said Wolfgang. "I suggest we make haste for the elevator."
"I can lift Brian's father with my wand," said Hester.
"He's my father too."
"And I can carry you on my back. But who's going to bring Brian?"
She had a point.
"Can't you lift both of them? You juggled more than one alien."
"Tell Mr. O'Brien that I didn't have to worry about treating the aliens gently. They weren't unconscious. They looked out for themselves when they fell. Tell Mr. O'Brien that I can only handle one person safely."
If only I could make my ironwood wand work! Then I could lift Brian while Hester took care of my father.
"I have an idea," I said. I went back to Brian's room. His eyes were open. "You are in my power," I said.
"I am in your power."
"You will obey."
"I will obey."
"Follow me."
He followed me stiffly down the hall. Hester carried Wolfgang piggyback and floated my father along with psycho-telekinesis. We found the elevator open and entered it. Just before the door closed I saw a gang of bugbears at the far end of the hall.
"How do you make this thing go?" I asked.
"Wasn't Mr. O'Brien paying attention when the aliens brought us down? You have to press a button on the ceiling."
Crazy aliens! They put their control buttons on the ceiling! I gave Hester a boost and she pressed a button. We rose. The door opened. It was another hallway. She tried the next button. This time the door opened on the forest.
"Oh, children," said Mrs. Patch, who was standing at the edge of the woods. "I was just coming down to see you. Here's your iguana, Hester."
"Juanita!" Hester gave her lizard a kiss.
The door of the elevator opened again and a gang of bugbears rushed us. Mrs. Patch didn't have time to try instantaneous teleportation. Luckily, the aliens saw Juanita. One stopped. The one behind bumped into him.
"Look," said the first one.
They looked. One shrieked. Another almost fainted.
They ran back into the elevator and closed the door.
"They don't seem to like iguanas, Hester."
"Juanita Iguana saves the day!"
"Would someone please untie me?"
"All in good time, baby. All in good time."
Mrs. Patch wove a cyclone around us. We left Brian in his bed. He probably considered the whole business a bad dream. We took Dad back to the lobby of his hotel in Ireland. He woke up the next morning on the couch where he had slept through the kidnapping and remembered nothing. Mrs. Patch returned Hester and me to Camp Kittiwake as the sun came up. Nobody had noticed that we weren't in our bunks all night. Mrs. Patch told Hester she'd take Juanita Iguana home--before taking Wolfgang back to Ireland. The next time I saw him he no longer had sticky ropes around his ankles. All in good time.
Next Section of Brian's Story.